This is my first blog as I just joined today. After teaching Child Development, Child Psychology, and Adolescent Psychology, among other psychology courses, for the last 30 years, I will be forever grateful for my decision to change majors in college from English to Psychology because studying psychology made me a much better parent! I also have an M.A. degree in Foundations of Education (one of which is psychology) from G. Peabody College, now of Vanderbilt University in Nashville. Coincidentally, I was born at Vanderbilt University's Medical School Hospital.

Anyway, teaching and studying psychology (yes, teachers have to study, too, especially college teachers!) helped me to be a better parent because I applied what I had learned from the field to raising my children. Basically, this included lots of physical affection, being positive and non-violent, using operant conditioning, working always to develop and enhance their self-esteem, and being consistent. By most definitions, I was a physically abused child, and I knew from the field of psychology that if we as parents don't make a daily, conscious effort to do things differently than our own parents, then we become the same type of parent our own were! That was a scary thought, and my chief parenting goal was to do better than my own parents. The field of psychology calls it "observational learning" in that our main parenting role models are our own parents, whose phrases, practices, attitudes, and methods we automatically repeat unless we work at doing things differently. (This is why we hear, for example, so many say, "I sound just like my mother!")

As I used to ask my psychology students, "How do you feel about your parents? Do you like them as people? Do you respect them? Do you only call or go home when you have to, or do you like to spend time with them? Because whatever you feel toward your parents is basically how your children will feel toward you assuming you become the same type of parents as your own as the field of psychology so rightly predicts." And unlike my own mother, who repeated the physical abuse she experienced and witnessed in childhood, one of the first things I decided against was the use of physical violence. I know how much such treatment negatively impacted my own self-esteem as well as my relationship with my parents, and to this day, even thinking about those beatings, decades later, turns my stomach into a knot. I hated my parents so much when I was victimized by their violence and wanted to literally kill them, and once grown up, I recognized that this entire cycle of negative emotions, fear, intense anger and hatred, followed by guilt had been seriously detrimental to my emotional health.

I know that physical punishment of children, although declining, is still widely practiced and accepted, at least here in the USA. But because something is accepted doesn't make it right. Slavery was accepted in this country for over 200 years. Did that make slavery right? Physical punishment is barbaric, bullying behavior, nor does it teach children to control their own behavior. Punishment teaches children to control their behavior in the presence of those who punish, at least sometimes, for fear of punishment, but the true test of parenting is whether or not our children can control their own behavior and live the values they've been taught...when they're NOT in our presence!!

B. is really enjoying school. I am glad that I decided to send him this year instead of trying to hold him back in preschool for another year. Even though he is quite exhausted after a long day at school he appears more mellow than before (at least in general). He got a new math book today. I am a little bit concerned as it seems too easy and I don't want him being bored. I wrote a note to the teacher asking (nicely, I hope) whether he can move through that book at a faster speed.

It seems they are planning a trip to a museum next week. Apparently, they are doing a unit on the stone ages. B. is of course excited about that and has already started various projects related to the theme. Tonight he started a fairly elaborate construction out of clay. He is really into that kind of stuff.

My training is going okay. Today we had a test on the material we've covered so far. It didn't seem too difficult so I hope that I have passed. I'll keep you posted.

Okay, I have calmed down since my last post. I do think I might have overreacted a bit. B. does have some problems with social situations (one of the main reasons I decided against our public school) but hopefully things will settle down. He does do a lot worse when he is stressed or unsure. Once he has settled in at school it should get better.

Anyway, I did mostly get out of my volunteer work. It is funny how we always think we can not be replaced (because noone could work as hard, be as dedicated etc.) but there is always someone to step up and take over. Actually, I wasn\'t really surprised as I have seen this happen often before (and not just concerning myself). Still, it was a lot easier than I expected. I am honestly relieved. Sure, I enjoyed many aspects of this job, and sure in some way it would have been nice to be more \"needed\". But above all, I really couldn\'t do it anymore and I am so glad that I don\'t need to feel guilty about leaving the preschool in the lurch. I got a nice, quiet new volunteer job (writing the minutes for the parent-teacher meetings) which shouldn\'t take much time and, above all, shouldn\'t give rise to any fighting, disagreements etc. Woohoo, I am very much relieved!!!

This morning we used a couple of the green (unfortunately they hadn't been properly covered by soil) potatoes we had dug up the other day. I cut them in half and cut out some nice designs. We then used paint to make some wrapping paper. B. enjoyed it quite a bit, J. definitely didn't. I couldn't quite figure out why as it is quite easy and he could fully participate. However, I remember that B. didn't like it last time (a year or so ago) either so maybe it isn't fun until the age of five or so?

In the afternoon we went on a fairly long walk to another little village. It took about an hour each way. J. rode in the stroller as he insisted and it really is quite a hike (and I refuse to carry him unless it is an emergency). It was a beautiful fall day, sunny though already a bit chilly. On the way there was lots of opportunity for adventure: looking for frogs in a pond (didn't find any today though), looking for fish in a small stream (several trouts) and climbing up on a hunting seat (not really what I like to watch). We also spent about an hour at a very nice playground where the boys played birds, went on the slide, played in the sandbox etc. All in all it was really fun.

 

 

We are really struggling with bedtime/getting up in the morning now. As we skipped naps, Johnny did go to sleep by seven yesterday and I think we are well on track there (of course he is a morning person and that makes it easier). I also managed to shave about an hour off the time when Benedict goes to bed but it was still 9:30 pm. Now he has gone to bed for a while around nine and was fine in the morning but today he was again so hard to wake up. It takes me the longest time to even get him to hear me and as I don't get up that early myself my patience wears out fairly quickly. I pretty much end up dragging him out of bed and getting him straight out of the door. No wonder he is grumpy as can be! However, to have more time I would have to wake him even earlier.

I guess I am mostly concerned because we have all these problems in order for us to get out of the house around eight. Next week he will have to be at the bus station a couple minutes before seven (departure is 7:02 but I definitely do not want him to miss the bus as I do not have a car and if he misses the bus he can't go to school that day).  Which means he will have to get up at 6:20 at the latest. Once he starts school he will have to eat at least some breakfast before he goes. I usually let him go to preschool without breakfast because they have a second breakfast there fairly early on (around 9:15) and Benedict doesn't like to eat right after he gets up.

Anyway, there are some fairly big chances ahead. Hopefully, everything will work out fine.

 

It's been 7 years since I first gave birth, but the labor that I went through during that time is still very vivid in my memories. It was a typical Wednesday, my scheduled pre-natal check-up. My stomach was around 38 weeks then, but it never occurred to me that it would be the start of an excruciating process called labor.

During the whole 9 months of my pregnancy, my friends and relatives who already gave birth kept describing me how labor felt. Some said it was painful, others said it was bearable, while a few said that they hardly noticed that they were already going through the process. Although bits of information regarding labor were already given to me, still I had no single clue as to how it will start for me.

Around 2pm, I got dressed to go to the hospital for my scheduled pre-natal visit. When I arrived, there were already expecting moms outside, waiting for their numbers to be called. Why there’s a number? Because I was in a public hospital, where many patients were being entertained everyday. Moving on, I got my number and waited for my turn. It took me an hour before I was accommodated. But that’s understandable; anyhow it was a FREE prenatal checkup.

Okay, so after entering the room, the obgyne looked at my record and she immediately instructed me to lie down so she can conduct an internal exam, or better known as IE. I felt nervous because I heard rumors that IE is a bit uncomfortable. And indeed, it was. After inserting two fingers, the doctor then asked me if I was feeling anything, like painful contractions of some sort. I said no. She was surprised because according to her my cervix was already open, 2cm if I remembered it right.

2cm what? I did not react in an instant because I had no clear idea what that meant. So, the doctor explained that I was already going through labor, and that I should not leave the hospital anymore because I can give birth in a couple of hours. After hearing that, fear invaded me in an instant. So, what will happen next? Should I stay or should I leave? My husband then didn’t have a clue as to what was happening so I told the doctor that I need to inform him first. The doctor allowed me, but only after I signed the paper indicating that if anything happened to me, they would not be responsible.

While on my way home, a lot of things were running through my mind. Why there’s no pain? Where will we get money for the hospital fee? We were not yet prepared for that, though we already have some of the baby things that we need. But what I feared the most was the thought that I’ll be giving birth in just a couple of hours. After 9 months of waiting, finally, the time has come. I was scared, yes, but I was excited at the same time because I wanted to see my baby already.

When I arrived home, my husband was not there so I just contacted my sister in law. She told me to just go to the hospital and we will meet there. So I got my stuff, (nice idea that I already put my things and the baby things inside the bag), rented a tricycle, and off I went. Upon arrival at the hospital, my sis in law was already there and she was asking me if I was already in pain. I said no, and she guided me towards the emergency room. The attendant took my information, checked my record, and told me to proceed to the delivery room. At exactly 5pm, I was admitted at the hospital.

I was nervous the whole time, especially when I started seeing other moms going through labor. Some have happy faces, while others have “can’t explain” faces. I was one with a happy face, but one of the student nurses said that in a couple of hours, I’d belong to the “can’t explain faces”. She got my blood pressure, and told me that I have rather high bp, 160/100. She asked if I was tired, I said not much. She told me to relax and that she’ll again check my bp. Second check, still 160/100. The doctor now explained to me that they’d have to give me medications because I was experiencing pre-eclampsia. I did not understand what it means so she explained further.

(For expecting moms out here, I advise that you ask your doctors about this condition. Or if you want to know more, you can check the web for information.)

Okay moving on, the doctor injected something in my IV, I forgot the name, all I could remember was I felt so hot after that. She said that it would prevent convulsion. Aside from that, I was injected with this big syringe at my upper thing, or perhaps buttocks. I was injected every 6 hours, if I remember it right, until my bp return to normal. Then, I also remembered having a catheter because I was not allowed to move to and fro and tire myself from walking around.

At 7pm, another IE was done. It was 4cm. The doctor said that my progress was rather slow, so she induced me. At 8pm, there I started feeling the painful contractions. Long interval at first. But after a few more hours, around midnight, I could feel the contractions coming at a closer interval. The contractions were too painful. I could hardly bear them. But all the time I was just thinking about my baby, that I wanted to see her already. I kept praying during that time, asking for strength.

 

Then came 5am, the pain was too much already. I cried out in pain and told the nurse to again check if I was fully dilated, they said it should be 10cm. The doctor told me to lie down, I obediently opened my legs, and when checked, yep it was 10cm. Just in time for the baby to come out. The doctor told me to push, I did with sound, She told me that I was doing it the wrong way. So, again I pushed, this time with my mouth closed. The doctor already felt my baby’s head, but I stopped from pushing. I was tired. I was out of breath. I was in pain. But I was not ready to give up, so for the third time, I pushed really hard. Then, suddenly I felt the baby’s head came out, and the full body followed.  I was tired. I was in pain. But I felt relieved. Joyful. Excited. And then the doctor laid my baby on my chest. It was an indescribable feeling of being a CERTIFIED MOM.

 

My first labor experience is truly a memorable one. How about you? Feel free to leave a comment and share your story.

I met my husband nine years ago. Five years later we got married and decided that we wanted to start a family as soon as possible. I was a bit more impatient then my husband. We tried for 6 months with no luck. We decided to wait another 6 months before seeing a doctor. Another 6 months came with about 10 to 12 pregnancy tests all saying 'NOT PREGNANT'. Everytime I got my period I cried. I went to the doctor and was told that I had polcystic ovary syndrome. My doctor put me on birth control and some hormonal stuff to regulate me. I hated taking the birth control. Not even 1 month after this, my brother announced that he had gotten a girl pregnant. I was a hormonal, emotional mess as it was, and this was just the icing on the cake for me. I know it wasn't their fault, but everything I was feeling, I couldn't help but be resentful. I had done everything right. Had never been with anyone besides my husband, waiting to live together until marriage. And here my brother and this girl just met and were pregnant. As they got more pregnant I continued my birth control. I was so worried that when their baby arrived I would still be so filled with resentment that I wouldn't even want to be around my new neice or nephew. A couple months before my neice was born I stopped the birth control and was hopeful that we would be pregnant in no time. My periods were normal for the first time ever and so many people said that I would get pregnant right after I went off the BC. My neice was born and I fell in love with her. All my fears were replaced with love for her. Her 1 year birthday came and went with still so many 'NOT PREGNANT' results. My husband and decided we would continue to try, but not really expect anything. I made myself feel better by telling myself how much money we would have if by some chance we never conceived. I thought of all the great trips we would take, I even started spending money on my husband and myself to compensate my emptiness. We just spoiled ourselves crazy. We wanted something we got it. We had control over that at least. Then I got sick. A week later took a pregnancy test, like the hundreds I've already taken. Waited for that 'NOT PREGNANT'. Only the NOT wasnt there this time. I was shaking, crying ran to find my husband. We took 2 more in the next 3 days, called the doctor that day. It was confirmed, we were finally pregnant! I didnt believe it. I was almost too scared to get excited. After awhile seeing my husband and our family so happy, I let go of the fear and was excited. I started cramping, the doc said it was normal. Then a few days later I started bleeding. We went to the doc right away, only a new doctor. It was too late though I was going through a miscarriage. Every cramp and wipe of blood, was heart wrenching. I knew what was happening. We work all together my husband and family so everyone knew what was going on. I hated it. I just ried to smile until I got home every night. 2 days after we saw the doctor and had the ultrsound confirm it, my brothers g/f pulled me aside to tell me that they are pregnant again. I want to be happy for them, but I just wish that she would have waited at least another week to tell me. I'm so filled with sadness, anger, depression. So thats where I am right now. Literally. This has all taken place in the past 4 days. I just want to get past this and try again. I'm just so scared that it will be another 4 years. And now I have nine months of my brothers joy. I want to be happy for him, I just honestly havent got past my unhappiness yet.

K well know im bleeding, This afternoon, it was dark brownish-red discharge. And I had cramping. Now its Pure red. And a normal flow. But Im a week early. Can this be Implantation Bleeding. Or did my period come early. Im so confussed. Im crampy and Crabby. Bbs Hurt, and I still have the symtoms as before. But what do I think now? Any comments please tell me.....thanks

Have you seen the TV commercials depicting children and teens as if their personalities and behavior "just happen" and their hapless parents have no say, no input, no control? I saw one yesterday where the mother is watching her son from the window as he plays with a soccer ball instead of doing his homework. Or how about the one where the teen comes in and drinks from a milk carton in the frig with his father standing there who only shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head. I see this sort of thing constantly! My daughter reported that a pregnant co-worker said she hoped her baby wouldn't be a "cheerleader type", while another co-worker with a teenaged daughter said, "Wait until she's fourteen! You won't believe it!" All of the above examples are repeated daily. I hear the same thing everywhere, that children and teens "just turn out the way they do with no input from parents". What an absurd idea, yet one that reflects the general ineptitude in parenting. I'm starting to believe that those who fail, or at least don't do very well as parents, want to believe, really, really want to believe that child/teen personalities "just happen". I've said it before and will say it thousands more times in my life, I'm sure, CHILDREN ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS THEIR PARENTS!! Parents create a world in which to raise children. It's either parent-directed or not. Parents create a world of learning, reading, observing, discussing, and questioning that tells children education is important. Learning to share and help out at home, learning to work and take responsibility, on and on, are all a matter of parental direction and example......or not. When I became a parent, I assumed 24/7 responsibility for my children and had definite ideas as to the type of personalities I wanted to cultivate. First and foremost, I wanted them to be kind and decent people. Education and reading were emphasized, and I read out loud every night to them until they were in middle school. I did not want the general culture to dictate their values, so I did not allow much TV watching, openly criticized the "Disneyfication" of American culture, and frequently explained my views as opposed to what the TV was selling or telling them. I know I've written about a lot of this before, but the constant portrayal of teens and children as beyond the control of their parents is so absurd, I had to write about this again. It infuriates and disgusts me that the common American view of parents seems to be that they have so little influence, control, or input in their childrens' lives. WRONG!! As Tina Fey, comedian and writer says, she has to thank her parents for giving her the confidence to succeed, to believe in herself and her abilities.......and she's right!! How else do we gain confidence and belief in ourselves except from our parents? Without the solid foundation of parental encouragement and support, few succeed. Yes, there are occasional exceptions, who usually had mentors of some kind, but parents determine so much of what their children become.................and if you're not up for the huge responsiblity parenting is, don't have children. There are enough dysfunctional people who hate their parents in the world already!!

Old Wives Tales - Boy or Girl?

My best girlfirend is coming up on her 6 month of pregnancy, and swears it's a boy. Not becuase of her ultrasound, but because she believes she's 'carrying low.' I kidded her by saying that if the baby is born with a birthmark, I'm going to blame it on her incessantly eating berries, especially if the birthmark is a round shape. I'm sure we all have heard most of the old wives tales and myths that have been used to try and guess if a baby is a boy or girl. Particularly, if they are trying to conceive - or they want to try for a girl or a boy - then you must have been confronted with these unfounded then they've been confronted with many of these old tales about conception. While there are times when these tales are based on factual information about fertility or infertility, more often than not they are simply tales.

Below are some of the old wives tales I have found posted around the web. Some women swear by them and others laugh at them. They are certainly not grounded in research, but perhaps they are grounded in individual experiences. In addition, if they make you interested or willing to try something fun and new with your partner, then they are worthwhile. If they stress you out, or make you change your comfort zone too much, then throw them to the wind!

If You Are Trying To Conceive...

Food Makes the Difference -

Some wives tales focus on the food you eat when you are trying to conceive. If you want a boy - it's all red meat. And the more raw the better. Eat salty snacks like chips and pretzels, and dads should drink a lot of soda. To conceive a girl, you should be much healthier. Both partners should eat fish and vegetables. But, along with those good foods, you should give into your chocolate cravings - or so the myths go!

Having Fun in the Sack -

Many of the discussions of gender selection involve how to be intimate. To create a boy, you're supposed to make love standing up or in a doggie position. Focus on the man's pleasure - they say if he comes first then it's more likely to be a boy. And sleep on the left side of your partner. In addition, you should have sex during a quarter moon, only at night. Try to conceive on an odd day of the month and point the woman's head north while making love!

For that girl, stick with the missionary position while focusing on her pleasure. If she has an orgasm first, it's more likely to be a girl. Make love in the afternoon with a full moon. And, of course, try to conceive on the even days of the month.

Some Like it Cool, Some Like it Hot -

Apparently, weather and disposition also factor into many of these old wives tales. If you're relaxed when you conceive, they say it will be a girl; if you're stressed, it's bound to be a boy. Some say that a man's testicles should be cool if you want a daughter and warm for a son.

These are all, of course, just old wives tales. It's fun to compare notes that you have from your parents or grandparents with those of your friends. In general, none of these suggestions are proven to be factually true. If, however, they allow you to relax more, to have fun with your partner, or to try something new, then they are a great idea as you try to conceive!

If You Are Already Pregnant...

It's a boy if:

• You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy
• Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute
• You are carrying the extra weight out in front
• Your belly looks like a basketball
• Your areola have darkened considerably
• You are carrying low
• You are craving salty or sour foods
• You are craving protein - meats and cheese
• Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy
• The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy
• Your hands are very dry
• Your pillow faces north when you sleep
• Dad-to-be is gaining weight too
• Pregnancy has you looking better than ever
• Your urine is a bright yellow in colour
• Your nose is spreading
• If you hang your wedding ring over your belly, it moves in circles
• You are having headaches
• You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived the number is even
  
  

It's a girl if:

• You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
• Your baby's heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute
• You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear
• Your left breast is larger than your right breast
• Your hair gets red highlights
• You are carrying high
• Your belly looks like a watermelon
• You crave sweets
• You crave fruit
• You crave orange juice
• You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy
• You are moodier than usual during pregnancy
• Your face breaks out more than usual
• You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
• Your breasts have really blossomed!
• Your pillow faces south when you sleep
• Your urine is a dull yellow in colour
• If you hang your wedding ring over your belly, it moves from side to side
• If you add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived the number is odd

I'm sure you all have many old wives tales you have heard that are not listed here. Please leave a comment, and share yours!

Greetings, everyone.....The above caption is not only the truth, not only the findings of the field of psychology, not only the title of a manuscript I recently completed on parenting, it is absolute fact! My younger daughter, Keely, age 24, has been telling me lately of the two women she works with, both mothers of  fourteen year old girls, who talk as if their daughters' personalities, attitudes, behavior, etc. were determined before birth and their daughters were simply "born" the way they are. A more absurd conclusion is hard for me to imagine, but then, I've taught psychology for 30 years and therefore, know better. But as my daughter, Keely, said, this is a common assumption. She's right and we see this assumption in TV sitcoms, in TV commercials, the hapless parents with their poorly behaved children. Most parents seem to think their children CHOOSE to defy them, disobey, fail to listen, on and on. THIS IS INCORRECT BECAUSE CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE AND WILL BE ONLY AS GOOD AS THEIR PARENTS!

It's interesting that many parents will take credit for their children's successes, and of course, any child who does well in school, in sports, in music or whatever almost always has parents who have encouraged, supported, and helped that child to do well. But when children become uncontrollable, willful, disobedient, etc., the parents of such children almost always blame the children. They'll say things like, "My children don't listen to me!" or "My children don't respect me." And whose fault is this? The child's? Most children want to love and be proud of their parents, but according to many parents, their children purposely choose NOT to respect them. Is this how respect works or is respect earned? Although I loved my parents, I had little respect for them. They weren't really worthy of my respect and my frequent thoughts during childhood concerned why they handled me so poorly. Children ALWAYS know when they are being disrespected. They might not be able to put such feelings into words, but they still FEEL the disrespect on some level.

For example, Keely and I were walking down the street in Philadelphia the other evening and watched a toddler run into the street, away from his mother, a very dangerous thing to do. His mother swooped him up, saying, "you're not walking any more.." It occurred to me that my daughters never did that, never ran away from me in public, and I said so to Keely out loud. But the question is, why didn't they? If that had been my toddler running into the street and away from me, I would've been very upset that my child did such a dangerous thing and how had I failed him? My first thought, always, always, always, was what had I done to bring about such a response or behavior in my child!! I was the adult, the mature one, the one in charge, the educated one. Even high school dropouts have far more education than a toddler or a five year old! I understood, too, that my every word, every gesture, every facial expression, every look, my tone of voice were communicating information to my children no matter what I was trying consciously to convey or teach them. EVERYTHING A PARENT SAYS AND DOES, EVERY LOOK, TONE OF VOICE, GESTURE, IS TEACHING CHILDREN!

If my daughters seemed to be bickering a lot, I asked myself why. Had I been picking on one of them in some fashion so that she then, in turn, picked on her sister? Had I been paying too much attention to one of them, perhaps helping with a school project, and one felt left out? I always considered my role (and their father's) as the primary influences and shapers of their behavior. If I wanted happy, well behaved children who listened to me and did what I told them to do, then I had to be, first and foremost, someone they loved and respected enough to want to please and listen to. Furthermore, always I had to state clearly and repeatedly what I expected of them. Too often parents will say, "be good" or "behave yourself" and their children don't even know what that means. Being clear and specific helps tremendously!

If going food shopping, I would tell them exactly how I wished them to behave. "You will stay with me the whole time. You will not touch anything. You will not ask me to buy you anything." I might repeat this before we entered the store, making sure to make eye contact. And that's what they did. And being consistent is extremely important. Once a parent has stated a certain expectation, it is contingent upon the parent to FOLLOW THROUGH. Most poor behaivor in children is created by their parents for the simple reason of inconsistency.

For example, standing in a store line, I watched a young mother teach her toddler NOT to listen to her. A hanging chain display was next to the young woman's cart. The baby grabbed it and her mother said, "No, no. Don't touch." And the baby stopped touching. But, being a curious baby, in a few seconds, she was grabbing the chain display again. This time the mother watched and said nothing. If this young mother continues to give instructions which she herself then ignores, she is saying loudly and clearly to her baby, "DON'T LISTEN TO ME! I DON"T MEAN ANYTHING I SAY, ANYWAY!"..........more later..............

This morning I was working on the computer when our doorbell rang. It was one of our neighbors who asked if the bag of used clothes in the shared basement was ours and if it was meant for charity (they picked up used clothes today). I said that I had nothing to do with the clothes but she said they were little kids clothes. We are the only family in the building with small children so I started to think that maybe I had forgotten putting them there or that maybe it was our laundry or something. Anyway, I went to check and they were definitely not ours. The neighbor realized then that they were actually her son's. He is ten and these were baby/toddler/preschooler clothes. I guess her husband had sorted them and put them out without telling her and because it had been such a long time since her son (he is ten) had worn them she hadn't even recognized them!

While we were down there and looking through the stuff she asked me whether I would like to take some of them as she was getting rid of them anyway. Most of the clothes were in really good shape and I have no compunction at all about hand me downs (as long as they are decent etc.). I figure that any money I save in buying clothes I can spend on other things for the boys. And I have to say that my kids are REALLY hard on clothes (digging in the dirt, painting, spilling stuff) so we need a lot. So of course I said that I would be delighted to take anything that would fit the boys and I ended up with a big pile of stuff. Lots of shirts, sweaters, socks (we need those - somehow we always manage to lose one of each pair), pants, etc.

I didn't get much work done on the computer but it was still a productive morning. I sure save a lot of money today!

Poor little Jake is still stuffy & congested.  Today you could just tell he doesn't feel well.  I guess my positive attitude, just hoping he was only teething again, didn't work this time.  It looks like he has a cold.  And I think he is losing his poor little voice.  When he cries, he whines a bit & his voice cracks.  I'm going to call the advice nurse tomorrow, just to be sure I'm not missing anything.  He doesn't seem to have a fever, but it's so difficult to tell with the ear thermometer....he screams & turns his head back & forth so quickly, it's almost impossible to hold it in long enough to get a reading and with the underarm one....he wiggles & cries so much I feel like I'm poking him with it.  We'll see how he's doing tomorrow.  As for me, my throat is hurting and tonight I have a sinus headache.  Maybe he & I can get some extra rest tomorrow.  Laney & Dave are doing OK right now.  Dave & I took our airborne tonight.  I like the nighttime one, apple cider flavor and a good feeling of getting a lot of extra vitamins.  Hopefully the sickies will get better quickly before the healthies get sick too!

I've read all the articles and books that talk about how every child is different and develops on a different timeline.  I've tried pretty hard not to compare Jaxon to other babies thus far, and to just focus on what he's doing.  But today, as I was settling him in at the daycare, I noticed this tiny little girl just standing there all by herself and then I watched her toddle of as if she's been walking since birth.  I've seen her before at the daycare but I always though she was so much younger than Jaxon because of their size difference.  People have seemed pretty amazed lately when they've asked how old he is.  I tell them he just turned one and their jaws drop - they always think he is at least two.  So that just makes it all the more difficult to understand why Jaxon isn't walking yet or hardly standing by himself.  It really makes me wonder what factors cause some babies to start walking at the turn of their first birthday and others to begin a little later.  I'm curious mostly because I remember when he first started to crawl.  It wasn't until he was about 9 or maybe 10 months old.  I had taken him to his well-baby check up and the doctor was a bit shocked that he wasn't crawling yet.  Then, the very next day he started crawling.  I wonder if maybe, inadvertently, I just haven't been encouraging him enough to do what he needs to be doing.  It makes me wonder if I don't constantly work at it with him, if he'll be a late talker too.  Not that I still wouldn't think he was perfect in every way... It just makes me wonder. 

All most all the children's are afraid of water. The most common problem is caused by parents joking their children's about water. After that parents will complain about the behavior of their children's when it comes to water. Here are my advice:

(1) Let them enjoy water

(2) Join them Play in the water

(3) Tell them the benefits

(4) Smile at them while playing the water

Parents should also set limit's for playing in the water.

 

Here is the sample of my daughter's picture while enjoying water

I think Benedict was pretty happy with his presents. Remember, he isn't too much into toys so I mostly got him arts and crafts stuff.

 

The biggest birthday present was of course the book bag with accessories that he needs for school. He like it, but of course he was there when we bought it so it was hardly a surprise. Johnny however had a blast playing with the school bag today.

 

A friend of mine got Benedict a really cute apron with a frog on it. Again, he liked it but Johnny was the one who really enjoyed it. That little one is really into dressing up and pretend play.

 

Benedict got a bunch of soft stones (soapstones?) with files and sandpaper. You can cut/file the stones into different shapes. Be sure though to put a wet towel underneath or you will have a tremendous mess on your hands as the fine stonedust will go everywhere.

 

The next presents were two jigsaw puzzles. A smaller one from Grandpa's girlfriend that is quite fun, and a big one that we will do together.

 

The boys also got a game where you have to solve riddles and then collect the correct wooden objects from a pile. They liked it, but I am not sure if it will be worth the money. There are only a very few riddles, and the boys will soon have memorized them. Still, you can also decorate the wooden objects and that might be fun. Also, for Johnny it is nice because it is easy enough for him to play, and he gets easily frustrated with some of our other games.

 

The last present was a construction set. You take out a bunch of precut wooden pieces that you stick together to build a total of three models (plane, truck, boat). Benedict definitely needs help with those (the instructions are pretty bad) but enjoys it very much. I would say so far that is his favorite amongst the gifts.

I'll start by introducing the family to everyone.  I'm a 25 year old wife, stay at home mom, and college student.  I'm not even sure if I actually qualify as a stay at home mom since I do go to school.  I have two beautiful daughters Summer and Cayle.  Cayle is pronounced Kale as in the green leafy thing that nobody seems to eat or buy for that matter.  Everyone always gets her name wrong and it irritates me, but I guess I should have seen that coming when I spelled her name the way I did.  Summer is 2 going on 3 in December.  Cayle is 1 going on 2 in February.  Yes, they are that close together, 14 months apart.  I was pregnant for almost 2 years.  I don't recomend it for anyone else.  My husband is Cale and his profession is an aircraft mechanic.  You would think, wow, he must really bring home the bacon.  He could, but where we live they are paid almost nothing.  So, we're living on one income that's barely sustaining us, but somehow we get by.  I give mad props to all the stay at home moms, especially those who, like me, live pay check to pay check wondering which bills they're going to pay and which ones will have to wait.  We make choices like; food or diapers, electricity or phone, and rent or eh, you get my point.  Cale and I call our family ' our little nuclear family'.  I have no idea why, but we do.  My family is always being faced with some sort of disaster or problem. . . it seems like nothing can ever run smoothly.  I'm sure a lot of you feel that way, too.  I, however, enjoy hearing (or reading if you want to get technical) other people's woes.  I find it amusing and relatable.  Maybe you will to.  So come back often and get to know us!

 

Preschool kids are capable of learning a lot of life lessons from stories and applying them to their own lives. I have often used books as a parent and a teacher to help illustrate concepts like perseverance, friendship, and respect. The discussions that followed a reading of these tales were enlightening for my listeners and me, as well. I was also able to remind my four and five year olds about some of their favorite storybook characters when they were faced with a difficult life situation. When they worried about the first day of school or a visit to the doctor, for example, we would reread some of the Berenstain Bears books that covered those topics. When they were tempted to give up on a difficult task, we talked about the Little Red Hen and the work she had to do in order to eat a delicious loaf of bread. Here are some of my favorite books for four and five year olds that provide entertainment and food for thought at the same time.

 

Ø      Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton

This classic tale is a perfect illustration of how hard work and determination can lead to success. It has the drama and tension of a race against time and a very satisfying ending.

 

Ø      Frog and Toad are Friends by Arnold Lobel

This is part of an entire series about Frog and his friend Toad, two endearing and comical characters. Despite the fact that they are written in a simple vocabulary that is great for beginning readers, these books contain many concepts that teach valuable lessons about life and friendship.

 

Ø      Bedtime for Francis by Russell Hoban and Garth Williams

Kids (and their parents) will surely identify with the struggle that goes on between Francis and her dad at bedtime. She tries every excuse she can think of to avoid going to bed (a drink, a light on, a door open, etc). The whole situation is handled with love and humor.

 

Ø      If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff

This is a humorous story about a mouse that is never satisfied with what he receives. He keeps asking for more and more until his human friend is completely exasperated. A great discussion starter about setting boundaries and being grateful.

 

Ø       Ø      The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

I remember reading this one with my mother when I was a preschooler, but it has not lost its magic over the years. The little train that says "I think I can, I think I can," can still inspire youngsters trying to master a difficult skill.

 

 

Many parents keep their memories about their children. Well, when i was pregnant i also think about it. I am so excited about this whole things. Julia is my first baby and it's been so long before i had her. So i keep all the memories she have when she was still baby. This are the things we have done:

Picture her Every month

      We always picture her every month because i want to see the changes on her face and body. Now, looking all those picture makes me say "She is more beautiful girl'

Keep her First Cutted nails

      Grand Mother advice us to keep the first cutted nails. It will help Julia to know every thing when she is still a baby.

First Cutted Hair

      I keep the first cutted hair. I want to show Julia on how she causes me too much stretchmark
because of her hair. ha! ha! ha! Seriously i want her to see and touch her first hair

Keeping Baby clothes

      Aside from the reality that we can use it again. I also want to show how cute she is.

Drawing of feet and hand

        We drew her feet and hand so that she can see the big changes she had done.

There are still many things we keep to remind Julia about her first year on earth

Quality Time with your Child

Spending time in the same four walls is not enough. You should be interacting with your child on an emotional and bonding level. This is the quality time that children desire and deserve. Life takes its toll on all of us with its curving ups and downs. Do not let that keep you from putting on a smile and spending time playing, reading or other fun activities. Take a trip to the park and enjoy pushing your little one on the swings. Take a trip to the zoo and tell them about the animals. Take a swim at the local pool or swimming area together. Take a trip to the library to check out books to read to your child together.

The possibilities are endless when it comes to spending quality time with your child. Most children are not so wrapped in what you do, as they will joyfully remember that you did it consistently. 

Just cleaning the entire house, I have wake up very early to clean the house today.
Last night we went to shopping, just to no miss the weekend at shopping. Today looks like a good day; I am alone at home doing my house work, and laundry.
A.is outside with her father will travel around 1-2 hours with her father, first travel when I am missing from there. I am not sure how she will be in the car. But I have done her package, I have gives her some drinks, food, some books, papers and pen. Just to be busy in car to don't disturb his father driving. Really I am very interested to know what's happening there, if she is grumpy or sleepy etc.

Well, i am about to be 14 weeks pregnant, my husband left last month for iraq, and our three year old son Julian and I are just trying to learn to survive with out him here. it hasnt been easy. Julian is just now showing signs of adjusting to the change, poor guy. Dustin is his step-dad but to him he is the coolest. he is his hero. so when he left he didnt quite grasp the idea, then it set in and he went all buck wild for a sec, and now he is getting used to the idea. i have been trying to help him adjust while dealing with many harsh dramas and stresses myself. my sister-in-law and her 16 month old have been reaking havok on my house for months now, and the stress of dealing with her and my mother-in-law has takin its toll on me lately. i have felt tired and irritated. my back aches and i cant disolve the tension in my neck at all. all the while i am fighting bouts of dizziness and nausea, and being very sore where everything is stretching in there. then my hot water heater died, and i just about gave up. i wanted to fall to my knees and scream. but instead i took a deep breath, called the homeowners insurance people and moved on with my day. my husband called . he fixed the problem with the plumber guy, then he took down his sisters number and dealt with her too. my house will soon be repaired and void of its messy visitors. then it will be just me and julian, and we will finally be able to concentrate on us. which is good since he still isnt potty trained. poor kid has been through so much in his life. i am so grateful to my husband, he is helping to cope with things even from another country, and without him i would surely have come undone. but as hard as it has been so far we are still here, still taking one day at a time, and still surviving deployment.

 

My Birthday Cake

 

I am posting pictures of just born baby.This type of pictures we can get rarely.
I hope you all people will like the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I was a kid, I noticed that when I did something good, like earning the 1st honor in class or winning a contest, my mom and dad would buy me something as reward. But when I did bad, like not being in the top three in class or ending 2nd place in a contest, they would tell me that I should have done better and would spank me for not doing good.

 

Yes, I grew up in this kind of setting, feeling loved only when I did something to please them, but rejected when I did not meet their expectations. I always tell myself back then, "how come my best was never good enough for them?" So, I ended up having a very miserable childhood, which even continued until my teenage years. It was a struggle and I even remembered thinking about committing suicide as young as 10 years old just to end my misery. But I wasn't that weak, I managed to survive. And I promised myself that once I become a parent, I'll never ever be like my mom nor my dad.

 

But as they say, promises are made to be broken. Just this morning, I found myself shouting at my 1 year old daughter just because she didn't want to eat her morning meal. She was crying hard, but I didn't mind. I even heard myself saying, "If you don't eat, Mommy doesn't love you anymore!" I wasn't thinking right, I know. I sounded like my parents. But I was too blinded by the thought that the only way to make her obey is to show her that I am tough. Which I realized later on that I was so wrong.

 

When I came in the office earlier, I was so bothered by what I did to my little girl. I was distracted, so instead of doing work, I just browsed the Internet and came across this article about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, being the first foundation stone of proactive parenting. While reading it, I was really teary-eyed. It hit me hard. All this time I thought I'm doing well as a mom, but I'm not. I asked myself, was it conditional or unconditional love that I'm giving my children? Oh, why did I even bother asking?

 

In my seven years of being a parent, I hardly know what unconditional love is. Or perhaps I know, yet I tend to ignore its significance in my children's development. Unconditional love is all about loving my children, whether they do good or bad, they look good or not, they are talented or less-skilled, and whether their beginnings were good or not.

 

I have three children, of three different dads. Their beginnings were all hard to accept, their fathers added to my misery. But I love my three children; that's why I chose to bring them into this world in spite of the many trials that I went through. I thought that reason was enough for them to know that I love them. But it's not. Unconditional love goes beyond conceiving and giving birth. It should be the first foundation to become a good parent.

But, I must admit that becoming a good parent is a struggle for me. With my 8-hour job from Tuesday to Saturday taking its toll on me, I expect my children when I come home at the end of the day to behave in a manner I want them to be. When they meet my expectation, I'm pleased and I let them feel loved, but when they don't, I use punishment to point out to them that they are misbehaving and that I don't like it. The article I read just a while ago let me come to a big realization - I'M LOVING MY CHILDREN CONDITIONALLY! And that made me cry.

 

My children are my life. And whether you believe me or not, I'm trying to be the best mom that I could be. But after realizing this huge mistake of loving them conditionally, I must say that I still have a lot to work on. And perhaps, the first step is to leave the shadows of the past behind - of the bitterness, resentment, and anger which evolved from my unhappy childhood. I'm a parent now, not anymore a kid. So I should know better.

 

From now on, I'll keep what Ross Campbell said in the article, Unconditional Love: The First Foundation Stone of Proactive Parenting:

 

They are children.
They will tend to act like children.
Much childish behavior is unpleasant.
If I do my part as a parent and love them, despite their childish behavior, they will be able to mature and give up their childish ways.
If I love them only when they please me (conditional love) and convey my love to them only during those times, they will not feel genuinely loved. This, in turn, will make them feel insecure, damage their self-esteem, and actually prevent them from moving on to better self-control and mature behavior. Therefore, their behavior and its development is my responsibility as much as theirs.
If I love them unconditionally, they will feel good about themselves and be comfortable with themselves. They will then be able to control their anxiety and, in turn, their behavior, as they grow into adulthood.
If I love them when they meet my requirements or expectations, they will feel incompetent. They will believe that it is fruitless to do their best because it is never enough. Insecurity and anxiety will plague them and be constant hindrances to their emotional and behavioral growth.

 

It may be difficult to strive for unconditional love, since only God can truly give that. But, for my sake and my children's sake, I'll continue to pray that God give me the strength and guidance to be the best parent who can give unconditional love to my children.

Last night I found our bird on the bottom of the cage, die. The bird didn't seem have any signs of illness but I have saw her from two days ago she likes to stay on the bottom of the cage, I thought maybe she feels hot. Today in morning I have wake up and make a hole in soil and put our bird inside. Arianna followed me, and see the bird, after I cover her with soil Arianna go to cage and call the bird, but nobody there.........So sad!

 

I'm home from my trip to the Mexican Riviera all rested and refreshed. It is a beautiful part of the world and full of history about the ancient Mayan people that is fascinating.

 

Traveling with my hubby made me think about the days when it used to be so hard for us to get away together. We had four preschoolers for a while and there were very few people who would volunteer to watch them for us. Our isolated ranch home made it even more difficult for us to get anyone to come to our house to care for them.

 

Fortunately, even as young parents we knew the value of "couple time" and we went to some pretty extreme measures to be sure we could get away a few times a year, even if our trips were brief and inexpensive. Sometimes we farmed our four kids out to four different families. Sometimes we traded sitting with another family even if it meant we had to watch 8 or 9 children at once for a weekend. Those were times when we felt totally outnumbered and stressed out, but we thought the prospect of our own little vacation made the effort worthwhile. We begged and pleaded with extended family members who were very gracious in agreeing to watch our kids for a day or two. We found the most reliable teenagers in our local high school and sometimes hired two of them to work as a team so that we could be confident that they could handle our brood.

 

Looking back, I can see that all the struggle paid off. Every time we spent a weekend camping or even attended a seminar or workshop together, we  were able to return home with better attitudes and more energy to give to the tough job of parenting. I'd like to encourage all of you be sure you don't neglect this important aspect of child rearing. Even you single moms really need to get away from your offspring from time to time. As much as we love them, they are exhausting, and no one can do it all 24/7 without a break. So, be creative and figure out a way to take a little time off. Your vacation doesn't have to cost a lot or last very long, but it will be well worth the effort.

Is that a preemie in your pocket?

Neonatal nurse photographed holding premature baby in uniform pocket as part of Haifa hospital's teaching presentation. Health Ministry says indicate grievous; nurse faces disciplinary action

Meital Yasur-Beit Or
Published: 11.10.08, 09:35 / Israel News

Shocking images: A senior nurse at Haifa's Bnei Zion Medical Center's neonatal unit was photographed recently with a premature baby-girl in her uniform pocket - as a humorous gesture.

Ynet has obtained the original footage, but has chosen not to reveal the nurse's identity. The nurse is considered one of the ward's most dedicated employees, with a career spanning more than a dozen years.

The hospital's administration refused to allow the nurse or the neonatal unit's director to personally comment on the photo, opting instead to release the following statement: "The Bnei Zion Medical Center's management views this incident as severe and will take the appropriate disciplinary actions against all those involved."

The Health Ministry issued a statement calling the incident "grievous." The nurse in question is scheduled to go before a ministry review board on Monday.

he kangaroo method? Preemie in a pocket

Dr. Amnon Rofe, director-general of the Bnei Zion Medical Center, said that the hospital received an anonymous complaint, which was immediately investigated. The photo, he told Ynet, was taken as part of a presentation meant to be screened for parents of premature babies hospitalized in the the neonatal unit.

"It Illustrates the 'kangaroo method' which is supposed to teach parents how to create a direct physical bond with the preemies," he said. "After we realized that when people see the photo they either smile or are completely shocked, we decided to take it out of the presentation."

The nurse shown in the photo, stressed Dr. Rofe, "is a senior nurse, who's very good at her job. All she did was pose for the photo, she didn't initiate it."

'Heads will roll'

Prof. Francis Mimouni, head of Pediatrics Medicine at Shaare Zedek Medical Center in Jerusalem, said that while completely inappropriate, the only thing the photo indicated was poor judgment: "If the baby's parents agreed, and the photo was taken under the proper medical supervision, I don't see a real problem.

"However, if it was done without the parents' consent I believe heads will roll."

Another neonatologist said that although the act is far from acceptable, the baby is clearly in no danger: "This isn't something we do in neonatal units, but the preemie look stable. I'm sure no one would have taken her out of her incubator if it was life-threatening."

Oren Malberger, head of Lahav, the Israeli preemie association, was appalled by the photo: "This is outrageous and something must be done," he told Ynet.

"The neonatal unit at Bnei Zion is a reputable one, but this incident demonstrates, once again, the grave shortage of personnel in such units, which sometimes results in hospitals having to hire people who fail to meet the high standards required of neonatal professionals. Nevertheless, we are sure the hospital will handle the incident in the proper manner."

Ilana Cohen, head of the Israeli Nurses Union, was equally horrified: "Never, in all my years of nursing, have I seen such a thing. It's absolutely horrible. They could have used a doll."

Knesset Member Nadia Hilou (Labor-Meimad), who chairs the Knesset's Committee on Rights of the Child, said the photo represented "another low in the cruelty shown to babies and preemies. How can we work to boost fertility on one hand and once the babies arrive demonstrate such disregard for their lives?"

The incident generated massive negative publicity which put a damper on neonatologists' efforts to illustrate the dire conditions of neonatal care in Israel: According to data recently presented before the Knesset, neonatal units have just one nurse for every eight babies, while the standard calls for one nurse for every four. More than 20% of the units' physician posts are left unfulfilled.

Ahiya Raved contributed to this report

 

My vision in life is to lower my carbon footprint and teach my daughter to respect the Earth and everyone and everything residing onit.  To that end, we are planning a green home just outside of Asheville,NC.  Our goal is to be able to start building by the end of 2010.  We want to use solar hot water and solar radiant floor heating. We will also build the house so that additional solar panels can be added at a later date.  I want to have an organic garden, and a few chickens to produce our own eggs.  We want to be as self-sufficient as possible!  I also envision a large outdoor kitchen, so we will be encouraged to enjoy the outdoors most of the year.  I want my daughter to grow up watching nature, not the television!   

What's your vision? 

Swimming Pool

 

 

 

I have purchased a lego game long time ago for Arianna.
First time no was so interested in it, but today I just bring in her room and right now,
She can combine the pieces. I am so happy to see her, how fast she is growing.
I have searching on internet any lego projects, I found one very interesting

A simple kid's craft made from Lego Blocks,a bud vase or flower pot cover for Mother's DayLego Blocks are incredibly creative and fun to build with. This useful Mother's Day kid's craft idea is very simple to make. The Lego bud vase or flower pot cover can be used over and over again. It can be displayed just about anywhere, from a dining table, to an office, to a kitchen window sill. It makes the presentation of plant or flowers more colourful and unique.

Supplies needed:

Enough Lego blocks to build a cube to surround the chosen plant or flower holder. The top will be open. You can make a multi coloured one, or pick Mom's favourite colours from the Lego Blocks that are available, and build it out of those colours. You can even make it in colours to match an office, home office , kitchen, bedroom or any other room that the Lego block bud vase or flower pot cover might look nice in. It brightens up any spot in a fun way.

Aluminium foil to keep the moisture from watering the plant contained, to keep it from leaking through.

A container for the flowering plant or loose cut flowers. You can buy one of the six packs of already blooming flowers in disposable pots from a local garden center or store that carries garden plants. If you want to make a larger pot, buy a single plant. You can also make your own using a small milk container. The ones from school lunchrooms, with the top cut off, or a single serving juice carton work perfectly. The nice thing about using the plants instead of cut flowers is that they will last longer. If desired, they can be transferred to the garden at a later date. Baby food jars will work nicely for cut flowers. You Don't have to use the aluminium foil to line the bud vase if you use the baby food or other small jars.

Soil, if you are planting your own plant or seeds. If you buy the flowering plants in the larger single size or the smaller six packs at the garden center, you won't need the soil.

Scissors for cutting apart the six pack of preplanted flowers, if you use that option.

Directions:

Buy and gather the plant supplies and container or containers first. That way you will know approximately how many Lego blocks you will need for the bud vase or flower pot Mother's Day project. Build a simple block shape that the pot will fit into. Make it tall enough to cover the edges of the pot. The pot should be completely hidden inside of the Lego block bud vase or flower pot cover. Make sure you close the bottom too. You can make it open o the bottom, but then you will need something to set it on so water will not ruin and surface it mat be sitting on. It looks better with an enclosed bottom though.

Line the inside of the Lego block bud vase or flower pot with aluminium foil to keep surfaces from getting wet. Make sure you seal it properly by pressing any open or loose ends together. Don't let the foil show outside of the bud vase or flower pot.

Set the already planted flowering plant into the container. If you are just putting flowers in water, set the container in first, then add the water and the flowers.

One additional idea is to make a bunch of these and use them at a Mother's Day dinner table setting for each diner. Make a larger one as the centerpiece.

There you have your very simple flower presentation and gift. The Lego Block bud vase or flower pot cover for Mother's Day .It is very easy to make, and an interesting way to make Mom smile. Kid's will love this Lego block craft. They can truly say they built it themselves.
BY Laurie Darroch-Meekis

 

 

We actually had a pretty good weekend. Yesterday, we did a bit (too little though) household stuff and luckily my father took the boys to the garden in the afternoon. I stayed home and did some work that had piled up. Apparently, the boys had a real blast playing in the fallen leaves. I rather wish I could have seen it!

Today, we slept in - what a treat. Generally (like yesterday) J gets up around six am but today it was past eight. So nice. Then we took advantage of my monthly train pass to go into town. We visited the local children's museum. It is quite nice though I think a bit too expensive. They have a special unit about chocolate which is very neat. They not only tell you how chocolate is made but you get to see/smell/taste the inside of a real cocoa fruit, grind a bean to powder to make hot chocolate, prepare your own chocolate and make various treats (chocolate cookies, truffles, nut with chocolate) which the kids then get to take home (or eat on the way to the train, as the case may be). Really nice. We've done the same thing last year and I could really tell how much the kids have grown during the last year. Last time, B. was able to participate with some grown-up help. This year he could easily do it all himself and J. was able to participate with just a bit of help. It was definitely less stressfult this time. Last year I was torn between watching over a bored toddler and helping B.

 

I know you are probably getting pretty tired of these daily updates but at the moment our daily schedule is just so tiring that I can't find the energy to do anything extra with the boys.

Today, class was really frustrating. It was the last day of this portion (new teacher, new group next week). I guess they are supposed to take the class on a small excursion on the last day. Basically, a good idea. The plan(?) was to visit a local computer shop which isn't that thrilling but might actually have been of interest of some in the group (looking at what hardware is currently available etc.). For some reason we just went to a cafe instead. I dislike this for several reasons:

- First of all, everyone in that class is presumably unemployed. So you would think that money is generally tight. Why then do something that practically forces you to buy a beverage at a cafe? Sure, you could just skip it but it would be a bit odd. It wasn't loads of money (I had a small Coke) but I would probably prefer spending my money on something else.

- Sure, hanging out and talking is nice but to tell the truth, I have so much stuff to do (you should see the state my apartment is in and the boys have hardly any clean laundry left) that I really hated to "waste" hours sitting around and talking about nothing in particular.

- Also, it really bothers me when teachers assume a lack of motivation on the students' parts (though it may be true). I would much rather have a teacher with some energy, planning an interesting field trip with the expectation that the students would want to go and learn something. Maybe I am just naive?

I have to admit that I didn't say anything (though I am still considering a comment if every module ends that way) as I didn't want to be "hard-line". For all I know I was the only one who felt that way.

In some ways it was pretty interesting though. Almost all the students are around forty but you wouldn't believe some of the behaviours I saw. There were some who acted like they were in nursery school (giggling, silly jokes etc.). Then all the catty remarks about those students who weren't there today. I was just astonished.

 

Today was my day to volunteer at Laney's school.  I love being there and being able to see what she does during the day.  I also like to know the kids in her class.  Meeting her friends is another plus.  But one of the most important reasons that parents should volunteer at their kids' school is that you can get familiar with the teacher, principals, secretaries, everyone who has input in your kids' educations.  Today I was able to talk about Laney's reading with her teacher.  I was also able to talk with the principal about the school's music program.  We have a wonderful school,  but the one big issue I have is with the music teacher.  I realize that we are lucky to have a music program at all.  But the music teacher, who in the past was a professional musician, is a horrible teacher.  This man has singled out children for punishment, taking a 1st grader outside the room and closing the door so that he'd be able to admonish him for misbehaving during the music program.  This same music program is a joke, all the kids behaved fine while performing such great hit's as "Go Tell Aunt Rhody (the old grey goose is dead)" and "Drunken Sailor."  Every parent and teacher I saw and talked to was embarrassed about the content of the program.  I considered writing a letter to the principal, but decided to wait and see if someone else did.  I wish I had written that letter.  But something happened recently in Laney's class that made me decide to write the principal now.  Last week, the teacher had a group of children stand in the front of the class and told everyone that the children standing were good singers and the ones sitting weren't, so they should try to be more like the first group.  I don't believe that children should be separated in this way and I had finally had enough of this teacher's teaching methods.  I wrote my letter last week and discussed it with the principal today.  He reassured me that he is taking care of the issue with the music teacher.  I hope he will spur a change in the music department at our school.  And if change does happen, I'm happy to have stood up for my child and the other children at our school.  Parents need to be the advocate for their children, if we don't, who will!

A new Thing

Arianna have an interaction for computer too.
Today I have cooked for lunch, I left her alone in the living room, and she watches TV,

but so fast gets boring and discovers the computer.
I stopped for while from my cooking to come to watch Arianna,

she sets on chair in front of computer and start to play with the keyword and mouse.

I taken the camera and make her first photos at computer. She gets so interested, so

I was afraid to no delete any thing from computer. I have opened a game for her, on computer,

she see everything moving on screen, and really enjoy her time at computer.

I have continued my cooking, and she play for a bite at computer.

 

I am pretty upset with myself. The other day, I wrote that post, all about how I was going to take the boys out to collect chestnuts and how it was going to be the first year for J. to really particpate etc. Sounded great, didn't it? Unfortunately, I have to file it as a "lost opportunity". We did go on a walk a couple of weeks ago but it was a bit too early, very few chestnuts on the ground but PLENTY up on the trees. Well, I kept planning on going but with all the work I had, the new school, the weather not always cooperating etc. I kept putting it off. Today I finally took at least J. (B. had a major fit and wanted to stay at Grandpa's house). I knew it was getting a bit late in the chestnut season but honestly had no idea that we would be TOO LATE. We only found four chestnuts, and what is worse, no more up on the trees. I feel quite upset. I really had been looking forward to this and now we waited too long!

I have been quite busy lately. There is still no job to be found (haven't really been good about sending my stuff out either though). Here nobody wants to hire someone with small children. The class I was supposed to start next week (remember it got pushed back from October 1) got cancelled again. I think I will have to reschedule at a different academy. This is not all bad though. I would like the bit of extra money you get when you attend (for commute and child care) but I am so busy with several small jobs that I am glad not to have to go. Actually, business is fairly brisk. Considering the job situation I will probably end up running my own (small) business from home. This is probably the best option as it will make scheduling etc. easier. I am not really the entrepreneurial type (too risk-averse) but hopefully it will work out.

Today I got my old children's books out of storage for B. They are all in German (obviously) and though I am more concerned that he learn to read English, I guess he does need access to reading material in both languages. As I have always loved reading there are plenty of books to choose from. It will take a bit longer of course until he can read well enough to enjoy the books but hopefully not too long. Not that there is a rush but I loved to read so much that I want him to enjoy it too!

I read an interesting thread in a forum that gave me an idea for this post. Basically, someone asked what the best part of pregnancy was.

Let's see. It is easy to come up with many things that weren't so great: Nausea (luckily not too bad), the constant need to pee (I think I know every bathroom in West LA), shortness of breath after climbing two steps (slowly) and an excruciating backache towards the end of pregnancy (not even to mention delivery itself - ouch!) are just a couple things that come to mind. Don't get me wrong. I was ecstatic to be pregnant but let's face it the physical side effects are not all positive.

Many of the other posts put shopping (maternity clothes and baby clothes) or increased attention from their husbands down as the main positives. Now I am NOT into clothes shopping for myself and the thought of spending money on stuff I would only be wearing for a couple of months was definitely not a highlight for me. Baby clothes are cute but not only was money a bit of an issue but I am also a worry wart and was a bit afraid of jinxing things by getting too many things before the baby was safely born. The husband thing of course didn't work as I am a single mom (wouldn't have minded a foot rub though!).

Still, I did come up with a couple of good points:
- Funny as it may sound, I loved showing off my big belly.

- I think it is just the greatest thing to feel the baby kicking inside of you (well, maybe not so much towards the end of pregnancy when baby confuses your bladder with a soccer ball)

- The biggest thing for me (and I know I am in the minority) were the pregnancy hormones. For some reason they made me feel as if I were on some major drugs (not that I would know how that feels but I do have my imagination). Things that would usually upset me no end didn't bother me at all. I just felt like everything barely concerned me. I have to say I could use some of that calmness in my everyday life!

 

How about you? What part of pregnancy (if any) did you enjoy most?

It's so fun to watch Arianna grows. Her interaction with the cats is so amazing.
The cats love her. She finds the cats so amusing. She shares her food with the cats.
Whenever is a cat inside in garden, she is running to cat.

Even if she is so happy with the cats, I always consider the cats are dangerous, for her. Because can scratching her, and hurt her. Also the cat's hair is no so good. I let her to watch the cats from far. I am trying to stop her to play with the cats.

Hello all!

I am back at home, we have celebrate the latest days of Ramadan, at my mother in law,

there we met all my husband family,

I am so tired, i am busy with my house work, and i have some laundry to do.

Arianna got a good time, has a lot of fun with her cousins.

Soon will posts some pictures.

 

Here in Germany it is a holiday today. Which is lucky as B. was completely exhausted. Getting up so early, the long days at school and of course the adjustment to being at school at all are taking their toll. We pretty much spent all of yesterday's afternoon with someone crying or complaining. He wanted to do stuff but was to tired for it. He was just plain miserable.

Grandpa finally returned from his trip to Italy and the boys were very excited. He really is a very important person in their lives and as he lives practically next door they usually see him several times a week. Anyway, the boys insisted that we run right over to welcome him. B. did his Moldau show. You may remember that they talked about the river Moldau and the music by Smetana at school. B. had made a cardboard river, castle etc. He then used blankets and chairs to build mountain and ocean and added in cardboard trees, people and various other things. We then played the music and he would indicate where at the river we were etc. It was actually quite neat and my father appreciated it more than I had expected. Only J. didn't want to be ignored and really revved up. Still, it went well and helped us get through a long and rather exhausting afternoon.

B. has had a chance to sleep in a bit and I think the downtime over this long weekend will be good for him.

Hello all!

i will be off for some days, i am going to my mother in law.

We celebrate the last day of Ramadan.

I will make photos with the new dresses for Ramadan.

Miss you all!

I didn't have much time for catching up this weekend and I'd like to be able to say it was because I was out doing something fun and exciting, but my husband and I were just in the house doing laundry all weekend.  That's how far behind I've gotten on my housework (wow I sound like a mom don't I), that it took a whole weekend to get the laundry done.  It really sucked too beause the weather was gorgeous.  But it had to be done.  I would much rather have been outside with Jaxon, but the work had to be done.  I can barely stand to be in my house anymore.  We've been here for five months now and we still haven't completely backed, or put up all the light fixures, or set up the guest bedroom and now I have dirty laundry all over the house.  Well.. had because we actually managed to get it all clean and folded and in the drawers and closet.  We did a bit of "fall" cleaning as well.  It's really hard to get rid of trash in Germany, but the problem trash collection day is coming up soon.  So I'll be able to get rid of the six bags of of old stuff we need to get rid of.  Stuff I should have gotten rid of before we moved... but I was being lazy.  In my defense, I was working back then and had very little time.  No excuses now thhough. 

On a more pleasent note - Jaxon finally took his first unassisted steps this weekend as we were going through all the laundry.  Now he's just a waking fool.. it's so adorable.... check it out...

JAXON WALKING

Nikita will start daycare next week at 6 weeks old. I didn't want her starting until she was a year but I am running out of money and I have a lot of family problems. Her dad isn't there for me either, it's hard. I feel so depressed all the time. The Job situation does'nt help me much either, or the looming court battle that is going  to ensue.

 

I just wish life would get a little easier and things would start falling into place. Luckily I have 6 years manager experience so it should not be a problem for me to find a job, but I need a job with the right hours to accomodate her dayhome. Any advice from any single moms out there in similar situations? This is the worst part of the year for this to be happening. Man, I really need to win the lottery, lol.

How do you it? Because I haven't a clue. Sex, I can handle. The day when my kids start asking me about how babies are made, no problem. But death. I just don't know.

The topic came up last night. Of all nights. My 3-year-old Zoe is having surgery this morning. She's having ear tubes inserted and her adenoids removed. The doctor thinks this will help with her hearing and speech. It requires general anesthesia, however, it's a common procedure and risks are minor. The surgery starts at 8 a.m. and she should be out by lunch. But still. I'm her mom and she's my precious baby. I am going to worry.

So the last thing I want to be talking about is death on the eve of my daughter's surgery. Because, really, don't most of life's major worries somehow come down to death? Again, I realize complications associated with Zoe's surgery are rare but what if she's that one-zillionth oddity who experiences problems? Or dies? I know I'm being dramatic, but I can't be the only mom who worries to the extreme? Not when our beautiful children are at stake.

The topic of death arose minutes before Zoe went to bed. I kept her up an hour later than usual because her beloved Nana had just arrived from Colorado, and I wanted to fill her belly with protein since she won't be able to eat or drink in the morning. As I was heading upstairs to put laundry away, I turned on the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy for my mom. Apparently someone died during the first part of the show. Let's just say it left quite an impression on Zoe (and, yes, I realize she should not have watched it; when I turned it on, she was minutes away from bed, with my mom helping to put on her pajamas before taking her upstairs to her room).

I had never spoken of death to Zoe. My dad died when she was 6 months old but she won't remember. Besides my father, no one close to her has died. So I've never brought the subject up. I figured she's a happy child who has her whole life to know about death. Was that wrong? Was I sheltering her? Should I have sat her down and told her that one day none us would be here?

My mom and I explained death to Zoe in a vague way and tried our hardest not to scare her. But Zoe is smart and seemed to understand the concept. Maybe someone else had told her? Which means maybe I should have told her first? In that case, what is the age to tell your child about death?

All I know is that the night ended with me tucking her in her bed and with my sweet Zoe sobbing and clinging to me and saying how she'll miss me when I die and asking if I'm going to die soon.

And I know I answered wrong-and I knew it was wrong while I was answering it. But I just kept talking because I could not bare to see her so afraid and upset.

I told her that I won't die for a long, long time. I promised her that. Which is bad because I could die at any time. For the most part, it's out of my control. But I made a promise, so now I just can't die for a long, long time.

After I said that, she went to sleep feeling better. Not me, though.

Please share: What are your thoughts and experiences regarding talking to children about death?

Here are some pointers from BabyCenter.

This is a photo of Zoe happily playing with costumes and cars during her 3rd birthday party. How much should she know about death?

15 Responses to "Explaining death to your kids"

1. Economrs. Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 9:11 am

With us, our religious beliefs that families can be together forever, even after death, will be what I use to comfort my children. Death is still hard for those left behind, but I've never been in doubt that those who have died are better off and that this life is just one small part of a greater plan.

2. Economrs. Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 9:11 am
With us, our religious beliefs that families can be together forever, even after death, will be what I use to comfort my children. Death is still hard for those left behind, but I've never been in doubt that those who have died are with family and friends and that this life is just one small part of a greater plan.

3.lindsay.weiss Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Hi Kristina- thinking of you this morning and sending wishes for an easy, safe surgery!My 4-yr-old is obsessed with death, due in part to her great-grandma and our dog dying recently, and also her fascination with Sleeping Beauty (who "falls asleep" and then is awakened when kissed by a prince). So she has a very odd view on death and wonders why we can't kiss all dead people and wake them up. The conversations we have are crazy!
I don't do the best job either...just a matter of fact "everybody dies sometime" and lots of reassurance that she will always be taken care of.

4. Marcie Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Good Luck on the surgery! My 4 yr old had the exact surgery done in March and it is very quick and an easy recovery. She went in to the surgery room and by the time I sat down and opened a magazine (about 10 minutes) she was done and we could go into recovery to see her. She loved that we could take a few days off work and her sister could go to daycare so we could cuddle on the couch with movies and ice cream and pudding and jello!!!
As far as death I am in the same boat. I have a hard time explaining the whys and the what fors.
Good Luck!

5. Anonymous Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Wow! I think you did a great job with that conversation. You reassured her. And even if something does happen to you, it sounds like she has a good Grandma and probably lots of other family members to help her through it. She is probably in surgery now - so I hope it goes well.

6. Marcy Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 10:29 am
This is a tough one. My 4yo has it in his head that you eventually turn back into a baby. He has a very circular vision of life. He often asks how old he was when mommy was a baby. I think he is Hindu without even knowing about it. Recently he got very serious and asked at what number (age) you turn back into a baby. My husband told him that you don't turn back into a baby, eventually everything dies. We have told him that before and he chose not to believe us. I guess he finally processed the information, but he was still quite stressed over it. He still hasn't gotten to the realization that his parents will die. Luckily he hasn't asked the more philosophical question of what happens when you die as my husband and I disagree on this point.Death is actually all around kids, not just on Grey's Anatomy. They see bugs dead on the ground. Sometimes they might see a dead bird or mouse. MANY stories have death in them, particularly if you read the traditional fairy tales. Almost all popular children stories involve orphans (someone did a post on this a while ago). Don't worry if you don't get the explanation right the first time...kids keep asking questions so you get "do-overs"!

7. Marcy Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 10:32 am
PS Thoughts and prayers are coming your way for the surgery and recovery. Good luck!

8. Mary Beth Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Your little girl and you are in my prayers!! I know I would be feeling the same if it were one of my children....As for death unfortunately our dog died when Ryan was 4 and we had the dog before we had Ryan so they were like brothers and my son took it very hard and it took me a while to get my son back to normal. Then we got a cat to cheer him up and the cat died of couple of months later and when I told him he fell to the floor. Ya he knows what death is and it is so hard more me as a mother to see him hurting. Knock on wood I hope he doesn't have to go through anymore death any time soon.

9. Candace Lindemann Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 11:25 am
First, I hope all is well with the surgery. Surgery is surgery and it is scary for the parents...I completely identify.This is a tough one-and I'm not looking forward to it. When Lilah was just about 20 months, we found a bird's nest (with eggs) on the ground and she wanted to know why the birdies' home was not in the tree. I told her it fell out of the tree and the tears started welling up in her eyes. So, I also bailed and told her that the birds were done with their house and had built another.
Not sure how to deal with the big death conversation-I guess I'll have to read up on it, soon.

10. Betsy Shaw Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Sending good, happy thoughts your way.

11. Karen Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
We lost our infant daughter last year after 21 days in the NICU and as I look at my now 4 month old son I know that one day we will tell him a beuatiful story with a very sad ending about his big sister Ava. I think as parents all we can do is try to explain death to them in a way that is both comforting and spiritual. My husband and I are not religious but after losing Ava I read a lot about Americn Indian spirituality; they believe that everything is cyclical and everyone's spirit returns to the earth. I know that for us, that is the best way that we can explain death to our son when the time comes.

12. tifRN Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
go, zoe, go! i wish i was your recovery nurse so i could spoil you with stuffed animals and popsicles. don't get too worried, mommy. she'll be fine. carson used to "talk" to his poppy dannie, who died when i was 7 months pg with carson. but the crazy thing was that his conversations were about stuff poppy dannie really did, or said...and none of us had ever told him about it. it was eerie, but nice.

13. Sprite's Keeper Says:
September 26th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I hope Zoe feels so much better after this is over!
As for your question, I'm stumped.
How can I explain death to my child when I'm so afraid of it myself?

14. Emily Ewart Says:
September 27th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Kris, hope the surgery went well. I was a basket case when Jacob had his, even though I had this same procedure done many times as a child. The worst part was when he started coming out of anesthesia, he was cranky and strong and struggling.As for the death issue, we have a lot of wildlife and movies with which this issue keeps coming up, and with Jacob constantly aiming "guns" at us or other people (something he learned in daycare) we've tried to stress that when someone or something dies, it's gone forever and won't ever be back. Which is why we handle stray lizards with care, don't step on beetles just because, watch praying mantis with fascination, and don't ever point guns of any sort at people...so far, he hasn't connected "death" to us leaving...

15. Sarah Says:
September 27th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Hi Kristina! I hope Zoe's surgery went without a hitch and she will have a speedy recovery.Now I don't have any children, I'm only 19, but when my mom died two years ago I had to help explain it to my 4 and 6 year old cousins. What I told them was Aunt Susie got really sick (lung cancer) and although she fought really hard, she died anyway. That means we won't be able to see or talk to her anymore but we will love her always and that she is watching over us. They didn't quite understand but understood they wouldn't be able to see her anymore. I hope this helps in any way!http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/momformation/2008/09/26/explaining-death-to-your-kids/

 

My mother-in-law & her friend got us this great seat.  Our friend's daughter had one and she thought it was so great we should have one for Jake.  Our Bumbo Seat is blue.  It's a big rubbery plastic moulded seat.  As soon as a baby can hold his head up, he can sit upright in the seat, even before he can sit at all by himself.  The seat supports the baby from all sides.  It's wonderful to take to other people's houses, where you don't have a highchair available.  We've taken it to restaurants too.  We have gone against all the warnings & rules, even printed right on the side of the seat.....we have put the seat on the table, but only while we're sitting right next to him.  He does sometimes get mad and arch his back while he's sitting in it.  He's never come out of the seat, but we always pick him up & take him out when he gets mad.  I want him to enjoy it while he's in there, so he doesn't cry just because we set him in it.  Our bumbo seat came with a tray.  I'm sure it will come in handy soon, when he starts feeding himself.  We can just sit him in the chair and give him Cheerios & other snacks.  The Bumbo Seat comes in lot's of colors and I've seen them in my Target, so you might be able to buy it at a store near you.

http://www.bumboseat.com/

$49.99 with tray at Target

http://www.target.com/Bumbo-Baby-Sitter-Tray-Combo/dp/B0010XTI5Y/qid=1222323891/ref=br_1_4/601-0700261-9580121?ie=UTF8&node=401320011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

Babies R Us   $39.99 plus $10.99 for tray

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2799899

 

 

I just spent four days with my granddaughter who is almost four months old. I feel like I would be falling down on my job as a grandma if I didn't brag a little. She is so bright, social and adorable, I had a hard time leaving her with her parents and coming home.

 Following some the advice I received here, I took her a musical toy, which she seemed to enjoy. I also took her The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle and she loved that! I was quite impressed with her ability to pay attention to the colors and pictures in the book. (See accompanying picture.) She would help me hold the book and even try to turn the pages.

 It was great fun, and I can't wait to go back.

I recently was looking at a magazine with a handsome young man on the cover. The cover depicted an article on gardening in Vermont and featured a local farmer. As my 5-year old stepdaughter and I were eating breakfast, I showed her this magazine and said "isn't he a handsome man?" To which she replied "yeah, but he pulls weeds." I said "what does that mean?" And she said, "it means he's not a prince." First of all, where did she get the phrase "he pulls weeds," and second of all when did she learn to judge people by what they do for a living? She's 5 for cryin' out loud! 

I often wonder what attracts little girls to this princess story and how do we let them know that its just a metaphor? Princes don't always show up on a white horse and falling in love isn't the end to all your problems. My prince came with an ex-wife, a 5-year old daughter and works his butt off for a living. We don't live in a castle and we will never own a white horse. I'm tempted to start writing children's books and tell it like it is. That way they aren't disappointed when they find out the story of Prince Charming has flaws...after all, even a farmer can be somebody's prince.

We are still struggling a bit with adjusting to the new lifestyle. Getting up so early is HARD - especially now that it is still dark outside in the mornings. Even worse, I don't sleep well and wake up all the time because I am so worried about missing the bus.

Johnny didn't mind going to preschool so much. A little boy he knows has started there this week and I think they really enjoy playing together. Hopefully, that will make preschool more fun again. I do think J. feels a bit lost without his older brother. When J. is upset he will turn completely mute, barely deigning to shake his head if you talk to him. Today, it seems he started talking again. I hope that keeps up.

Benedict still seems to enjoy school but it is tiring for him. Sounds like he enjoys playing in the sandbox during the recess. I am glad about that because recess can be a difficult part of the school day, especially for those kids (like mine) that struggle a bit in the social realm. I have noticed that he has a real need for exercise after school. This is rather difficult to handle because the weather isn't pleasant and we are all tired so it is rather tempting to just stay home. But I have noticed that the boys will start jumping and running around the apartment then. Today I made an effort and we went on some errands and I think that did help. I guess this is all a process and it will take a little while to find a good routine. All in all, I am quite content though.

 

I know this is not baby related, but I am so excited about getting new back doors for our house!  The old ones weren't secure at all, so cold or hot air could get right in, plus I am sure that someone could have easily pushed them in if they were trying to break in.  These new doors are so much nicer!  Much more secure, and no draft!  

Chloe has started using her walker to take some steps, so she's getting even more mobile!  She is so cute to watch, but every time I get out the video camera she won't do anything!  Oh well, guess I just need to enjoy it in the moment!

Our day didn't start out so good. Johnny woke me up at 6:30!!! On a Saturday!!! Since school started we have really struggled with getting up so early and I have had so much stuff to do that I haven't been in bed before midnight. Let's say I usually need at least seven hours of sleep a night (but more is better) and I had really hoped to sleep at least until 8 this morning. Well, let's just say I was fairly grumpy all morning and of course the boys then got grumpy as well and then everything kind of deteriorated.

However, the afternoon went much better. After reading to the boys for a while (feeling decidedly guilty about having been such a major grump - I know J. can't help being a morning person) we went to the open house of the local fire department. Luckily, the weather held. It was rather cold but dry. We had a bite to eat there (sausages and cake) and then watched the demonstrations. They actually pulled a car about 50 feet into the air and then dropped it. Then they used all kinds of implements and tools to get a bunch of dummies out of the squashed car. Finally, they set fire to the car and proceeded to put it back out. Pretty interesting stuff actually. Unfortunately, J. got really spooked by the fire (which was fierce). I hope he won't wake up with a nightmare tonight!

 

Finally I am getting around to an update of Benedict's first day of school.

We were all pretty excited. Luckily, we had finished the cone in time and I had stuffed it the night before with various treats. Those cones are pretty big so instead of just sweets I also got a jigsaw puzzle, a small box of Legos, a small game, some bathtub colors, a small book and some other stuff. I also made a smaller cone for Johnny which mainly had candy in it (a little bit less than B got).

I was pretty nervous about being late (I am a bit obsessive about being punctual) so made Grandpa come very early to take us there. To my surprise we weren't the first ones by far. I guess many parents get rather obsessive about the first day of school!

They had all the first graders sit down in the auditorium and took a couple of pictures. Then all the other kids in the elementary school sang a welcoming song for the new kids. It was really nice, all about how you feel so scared the first couple of days but soon you will like it there. Then they had a short speech (The kids looked terrified and I almost broke down crying. I know it is silly but I couldn't help it. I just know that I will make a weeping fool out of myself at my boys' weddings). After that there was a second song. This time the new kids could join in with the refrain and after that the introduced the eight different teachers (they have eight classes at the school).

Then each teacher read the names of the kids that would be in her class. Benedict's class has five new first grade children. The group has 24 children in total. Each group is age-mixed with kids from barely 6 to 9 or 10 (first to fourth grade). Once the kids were assigned the teachers took them to their new classroom. Parents got to go along and watch for a couple of minutes while each new kid was assigned a third or fourth grader in their group to be a mentor. Then it was time to leave the kids for about 40 minutes

We took Johnny outside and had a look at the schoolyard. They have a nice sandbox and lots of shovels, diggers etc. Quite nice. Anyway, at 11 we got to pick B. back up. He was quite happy with the way the day had gone. Originally we had planned to go out for dinner but changed our mind and went to Grandpa's house instead. B (and J) got to open their cones and proceeded to gobble up all their candy.

 

Sorry everyone. I haven't posted in a day or so. Not because there is anything wrong but because I have been exceedingly busy. Last night we had our committee meeting which lasted from 8 pm until past midnight. I am also way behind on all the preschool stuff I need to do (and strangely enough, the teachers just insist on their monthly salary). I also have some work to do that is on a deadline and with all the normal stuff going on, I didn't get much of a chance. Anyway, this is just a quick update. I hope to post more later on and tell you all about Benedict's first days of school - which did go quite well!

There is no set time period for stopping breast feeding. You can stop feeding your child as soon as he or she starts taking substantial amounts of external food. Usually it is better to stop breast feeding your child in between his/her first year and third year of birth, but some children might take shorter or longer periods than that depending on their physical psychological dependency.

Some mothers who are conscious about their bodily beauty, do not breast feed their children right form the time of their birth. It is to be remembered that breast milk is the best food for a baby as it contains essentials boosters of the immune mechanism. A child should be put out of the habit of being breast fed gradually and in a tender manner. Any abrupt or rude termination of the habit can have tremendous impact on the psychological hygiene of the baby in the long run.

 

Hello, all. As someone who's undergone two spontaneous abortions (more commonly called "miscarriages") before giving birth naturally to two healthy babies, I was surprised to read more than once how devastating miscarriage is for most women. Perhaps because my own mother had two miscarriages, yet gave birth to four healthy babies, it wasn't as scary for me as for some.

But more than this, after teaching Child Development, among other psychology courses, for 30 years, including all about conception, pregnancy, spontaneous abortion, etc., I understood what a spontaneous abortion actually is. Except for cases where sustaining the pregnancy is the problem, in most cases of spontaneous abortion, a terrible mistake was made, and Nature eliminates what would be an embryo or fetus that is not viable. This means that although deformed and brain damaged babies are born, in the case of spontaneous abortion, the deformities and problems were far beyond viability. In other words, Nature refuses to waste time and energy on an embryo or fetus that will not survive. Nature knows best in such cases, and to me, it was almost a relief to know that I would not be mother to a severely damaged baby.

This is the way I taught about spontaneous abortion, that it often represents a serious mistake that Nature then rectifies. I think if we can look at the reality of spontaneous abortion, then it isn't as scary as it might otherwise be. Many women have spontaneous abortions, yet go on to have healthy, normal babies. Also, most pregnancies and most babies are healthy and normal, although considering all the toxins, chemicals, electro-magnetic rays, etc. we're exposed to daily, this could change in the near future....but that's another story!

Anyway, I survived my two spontaneous abortions as do most women and did not waste time and energy on grief. In the end, Nature always knows best!!

The other day I was expecting a friend for an afternoon visit (remember that strange visit which took us four phone calls to set up and then lasted all of 40 minutes?). Anyway, our house was a complete mess so we spent most of the morning cleaning. Which didn't leave a lot of time to bake any goodies for our guests. I usually like to offer brownies, muffins, cookies or something similar. I had very limited time available and wanted to still have some variety (I know you shouldn't try to show off but a little bit of housewifely pride is surely allowed. And let's just say that the state of our house still wasn't impressive even after the cleaning spree so the cookies were my only hope.).

I found a pretty nifty recipe which basically lets you make four different cookies with the same effort as making just one kind. So I thought I would share it here with you:

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp baking powder

3/4 cups butter

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 tsp. vanilla

 

Preparation:

Cream butter with sugar and add vanilla and egg. Mix flour, salt and baking powder together. Add flour mixture to butter mixture.

This is your basic cookie dough. Now here is what you do: Divide into four parts. Add different stuff to it. You can pretty much use anything (well, any cookie ingredient) you like (or have at hand). I added the following:

Batch one: about half a cup of crushed cornflakes and a small handful of M&Ms

Batch two: about 1 tablespoon cocoa

Batch three: about 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Batch four: about 1/2 cup grated almonds and a drop of almond extract

Those are just some possibilities though. As I said before you could use lots of other things (peanuts, walnuts, raisins, dried cranberries, other flavorings etc.). Use teaspoonfuls of the different doughs to shape cookies. I just took little balls of dough and pushed them into circles or bars. If you manage to make them look a bit different in shape as well, noone will be able to tell that you basically only had one dough. Bake at 350° for about 10 minutes.

Benedict and I really liked the cookies (I liked the cornflakes version best). Our guests seemed to like them too (at least I am pretty sure that the cookies weren't the reason why they left so soon).For some reason Johnny didn't care for them. Maybe because they weren't ultra-sweet. So if you like your cookies sweet maybe increase the amount of sugar a bit.

 

We are so excited. Tomorrow, B. will start school. It is hard to believe that my baby could already be in first grade. I have somewhat mixed feelings - pride, disbelief, sadness.

We are scheduled to visit the school from 9:30 to 11 am tomorrow. B. will meet his teachers, get to know his classroom etc. It is a family affair so Grandpa will take J. and me. I hope B. will like it. He was decidedly nervous today and didn't even want the word "school" mentioned. It is a big step.

We just managed to finish the cone. In Germany, children starting first grade traditionally get a decorated cardboard cone that is filled with treats for a present. When I was little we bought the cone but now many make their own (well, you buy the cone but decorate it yourself). B. chose a dragon theme which is pretty nice but was quite a bit of work (I will upload a picture tomorrow). Anyway, now that he is in bed I will fill it with the things I bought. Those cones are fairly big and as I didn't want to buy tons of candy I also got a couple of small toys. J. of course will get a smaller cone too.

 

 

The new year at the preschool has hardly started and already the jobs are piling up for me. You may remember that I do quite a bit of volunteer work there, mostly all the personnel stuff. In many respects I enjoy it. The people are nice, it is challenging work etc. But.... yep there are quite some buts. First of all, doing the personnal stuff means I am the one that has to tell the teachers that there will be no pay rise, that they can not have the day off etc. You guessed it, it doesn't make me Ms. Popularity. Unfortunately I hate any sort of confrontation (so what am I doing with HR?). Even worse though is the sheer amount of work that needs to be done.

I am seriously considering stepping down from my position. I feel horrible about it as I have only had it for one year and started with the understanding that I could do it for several years. But I had no idea how much time I would have to spend on this. Last year I worked about ten hours per week - if no new disaster struck. I have been kind of hoping that I could keep on doing it and just scale back on what I would do. Unfortunately, today I already spent an hour on the phone with preschool business and it was just preliminary stuff. I honestly don't think there is a way to get everything needed done on much less than 10 hours. There is no way that I can continue to spend so much time on it even if I wanted to. It was a major stretch last year and I am scheduled for four months of training starting in October which will mean that I am gone from home from 7:30 am to 1 pm every day. Add in household chores, taking care of the kids, applying for jobs, trying to make a little bit of money etc... I just have no spare time left.

Wednesday we are having a committee meeting. Hopefully, by that time I will have figured out what I want to do!

 

Traditional dresses
As promised in my previous post here is an image with traditional Malay dresses.I will make some photos at the end of month when all wearing the new dresses. Arianna looks nice in it. I am so happy because i found a small size for her.

 

 

The whole day, I kept telling everyone here inside the office that I so want to eat pizza, as in lots and lots of pizza. I don't know why it suddenly occurred to me that I wanted to it pizza so badly. All I know is that, I will not let this day pass without eating a slice of it. Yumyum. I could already smell it in my imagination. My mouth is already watering from the thought that I'm going to munch at those bellpepper and pepperoni. Huhuhu. I can't wait to get out of the office and have one box delivered at my place.

 

 

But hey, I was wondering why people always associate cravings with pregnancy? You know, when I told some of my officemates about me wanting to eat pizza so bad, they immediately asked if I was pregnant. Oh come on! I know they're just joking because me getting pregnant at this time is way too impossible. Why? Because my husband is overseas, miles and miles away from me, so there's no way we can make physical contact. I'm not pregnant, I just want to eat pizza - that's all!

 

 

Whew, I wonder if there are other moms out here who experienced the same thing. Have you ever heard someone asking if you're pregnant just because you craved for some food?

Hello everyone. My name is Kristina. I am 24 years old and I live near Chicago, IL. This blog will walk you through my life (starting at the point where my fertility became a concern!).

When I was 15 years old I was having irregular periods and horrible cramps. Sometimes they were so bad I would miss 2-3 days of school. I went to see an Ob/Gyn for the first time. She ordered some ultrasounds and told me I had ovarian cysts. I was put on Orthotricycline. I was on the pill until I was 16, I tried them for over a year and it wasn't getting any better. My doctor then suggested a "new" method of birth control, Depo-Provera. She said some side effects included hair loss and weight gain, but NO MORE PERIODS, therefore no more pain. I was thrilled...16 and not having to wear tampons or pads anymore...woohoo, at that point I was not sexually active so the 99.9% chance of not getting pregnant meant nothing to me. After getting 3 injections over a 9 month period I had to stop...I had gained almost 50 lbs! I went from 125 to 175 in that short of time and non of my habits (eating, exercise) had changed. I started to become depressed and felt disgusting. Now mind you, I am 5'7" so I wasn't really heavy looking...but I felt huge. I started not eating which I knew was wrong but I was so upset I wasn't hungry. I didn't lose any weight, in fact over the next couple of years my weight peaked at 225, I have since lost about 13 lbs (partially due to food poisoning about a year ago).

After I stopped the shot she said my period would return but it could take as long as 2 years. Still no biggie. I started dating Hilario when I was 17 and our relationship became intimate pretty quickly (we had already been really good friends for almost 3 years at that point). In December of 2002 I was having pain in my abdomen. I went to the doctor and she ordered an ultrasound. She called me into her office in January 2003 and told me I had a dermoid cyst, the size of a grapefruit, on my left ovary. It needed to be removed and there was a chance it would be cancerous. So in March of 2003 I went in and what they found was not a dermoid cyst. It was a VERY infected fallopian tube, they had to remove it but were able to save my ovary. My doctor explained that now I would have a 50% chance of ovulating on the right side every month to conceiving would be more difficult. Once I was told that Hilario and I decided to started ttc.

In 2005 Hilario and I were married, still no pregnancies, or period! I went back to the doctor because I knew it was not healthy to go without a period for more then a year! She prescribed me Medroxypregesterone and Clomid. Well, I took those medications until 2007, not once did I ovulate. I finally got a really good job with excellent insurance that paid for Infertility. My doctor ordered all the preliminary tests that needed to be done for Hilario and myself. We were finally ready to make an appointment to see the fertility specialist. In March of 2008 we went in to see the doctor. He ordered an HSG which revealed the reason I was not ovulating (besides the fact that my ob/gyn never told me I had PCOS) was because my right fallopian tube was completly blocked, so pregnancy was not possbile without help. He sarted me on Metformin (for PCOS, help my lose weight, and my insulin was kind of high). He then had me take a month of birth control. I went to his office on day 2 of my period for baseline bloodwork and ultrasounds and then the fun began!

In May of 2008 the specialist had me start twice daily injections of Lurpon, which is a medication that stops early ovulation. I was taking 10 iu's twice a day. Then on day 7 he had me start 75 iu's of Follistim twice a day. After about 5 days of this he lowered my Lupron to 5 iu's twice and day and raised my follistim to 100 iu's twice a day. 3 days later he raised my follistim again, this time to 150 iu's twice a day. On March 29th I gave myself the trigger injection and went in to day surgery on June 1st for my retrieval. After the procedure I was told that no eggs were retrieved. The trigger shot had not done its job and the eggs were still attached to the follicles. We were so upset.

Due to the thick lining of my uterus from all the medications in June I got my period. I went in for a couple of tests because the specialist thought he saw something in my uterus that could cause a problem, it was nothing. In late June I had a medical emergency and had to take some time off work, so I asked the doctor if I could try the medications again. He stated he usually prescribes a cycle of estrogen and prometrium between cycles but due to my scheduling he agreed to try again and on July 14th I started my period (with the help of the medroxyprogesterone this time.) This time he gave me a VERY dilluted form of Lurpon and started me at 5 iu's twice a day. He then started me at 150 iu's of follistim twice a day. This time things were happening quicker. Last time I was on the stimulation medications for almost 13 days, this time I was ready in 8. On July 24th I took the trigger injection and on July 26th I went in for the retrieval. This time the news was great. 14 eggs were retrieved, 10 were mature. On Sunday he called me to report that of the 10, 7 had fertilized. 5 made it to the transfer day of July 29th. They transferred 2 and were able to freeze 2 others three days later. I then had to go through the 2 week wait, which is UNBEARABLE!

I sat around and was afraid to cough, sneeze, hiccup, or anything else. My husband would not allow to do ANYTHING, which was sweet, but rather annoying at times. I was due to have my blood test on 8/11/08 to find out if the iVF was a success or not. The Friday before (8/8/08) we bought some HPT's and I took one...one line showed very faint and the other dark. The next day I did it again...only 1 line. I was frustrated so I made my husband by me a digital test...I took it and within 15 seconds it flashed PREGNANT. I was super excited. Monday the 11th I went in for the blood work and sure enough they called me that evening and said "Its good news!" I was sooo excited I wanted to scream!

So as of now (9/11/08) I am 7 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I have had some spotting and some cramping but I have ultrasounds every weeks with the specialist and the baby is growing like it should and the heart is at 146 bpm and sounds strong and healthy.  A couple of days ago a VERY close friend of mine sent me a text saying she had lost her baby. She has 2 girls, one is 7 and one is 2, this was going to be her boy, she was due to go in on 9/16/08 and have him delivered by c-section like she did with her other two, but she went into labor on 9/8/08 and he was stillborn, so RIP Aayden Paul-Michael! That made me so sad and scared. I can't imagine that feeling, having to go home to a nursery you won't be using, it broke my heart.

I am going to include my blood work results in this blog so you can see my progress and if you are going through anything similar you can compare. Take care and if you want to chat let me know!

 

Date:                                   HCG:                          Estradiol:                      Progesterone:

8/11/08                               97                                1983                              107

8/15/08                               595                               2800                              158

8/22/08                               4732                              3071                              195

8/28/08                               12715                            2273                              163

9/4/08                                 27325                            2123                              92 

 

We are struggling along. Actually, I think things have improved a bit. Today I actually got B. up by 7:40 without tears and grumpiness. Still we have to shave off at least another hour (and realistically 90 minutes) by next week. I am hoping that the excitement of going to a new school will help to get him up in the morning. I have to admit that part of the problem is that I am not a morning person myself. Actually, J (who is a morning person) jumped up and down on my bed for a full 15 minutes this morning before I managed to get myself out of bed this morning. Still, I think if B. went to bed a bit earlier I could get my stuff done earlier at night too and that would let me go to bed earlier as well. I will keep you updated on how we manage next week when it is time to catch that school bus.

I just have to say that some babyfood is just gross!  In an effort to give Jake more variety, I bought a couple varieties of non-organic babyfood.  I thought we'd try macaroni & cheese and one jar that says "macaroni, tomato & beef," code for baby spaghetti...I think.  We all love cheese in our household, so last night I thought I'd let Jake try his first macaroni & cheese.  Now I know that baby mac & cheese isn't the same as the homemade one that Laney always asks me to make and it also isn't Kraft, which I like just as much as the next kid.  But wow, this stuff was the most bland thing I've ever tasted...yes, I usually taste the babyfood just a tiny bit when I'm testing the temperature...never the ones with meat, but I've tasted the rest.  And I have to say this was the very worst tasting babyfood ever.  It was the Beechnut Macaroni & Cheese.  I don't think that being non-organic necessarily made it taste worse, but it probably didn't help.  I just wonder why babyfood has to be so bland, organic or not.  The organic ones aren't that much better, this one just takes the cake for the most horrible, others are certainly horrible.  I felt guilty feeding it to my cute little Jake, who will eat anything for me.  With a sly smile on his tiny face, he opened his mouth wide, as the spoon approached and did the little "huh, huh, huh" chuckle he's becoming famous for...I stuck the half full baby spoon of mac & cheese in....I've never seen his expression change so quickly.  He wrinkled up his little face, squinting his eyes and thrusting his tongue out, in an obvious effort to rid his mouth of this foul tasting substance.  He glared at me, as if to say, "You didn't like it, why are you feeding it to me???"  They say in the books you may have to feed something to a baby at least 10 times before they start to like it.  So it was in that spirit that I tried again with the mac & cheese.  But after the second bit got the same reaction, I decided that was enough.  I trust that my baby, who really has eaten everything else we've fed him without too much fuss, knows what he doesn't like.  I'm not sure why babyfood can't have just a bit more flavor, maybe some salt or a few spices.  Maybe if it did, we wouldn't have so many picky kids in this country who want everything completely bland.  We have always been lucky that Laney loves flavor, she's been known to turn away bland food.  She refused to eat a restaurant kids pizza, saying "Mommy, it's too spicy!"  I almost couldn't contain my laugther after tasting the pizza and realizing, she was confused about what spicy meant.  The pizza had no taste at all, except maybe a little card board from the box it must have been frozen in.  Laney eats all manner of things other children won't touch, spicy Chinese food, salad with blue cheese dressing, pepperoni pizza that gives her mother heartburn and shredded parmesean by the handfuls.  I can only hope that Jake learns to enjoy food the way his sister does.  So I guess I'll have to start introducing him to some more interesting flavors soon.  I think that I'm going to try a trick of my mom's.  She says that when I was a baby, she just used the blender and blended up what they were having for dinner and fed it to me.  I bet you anything that Jake will love my 4 Cheese Mac & Cheese just as much as his sister does!

So my daughter has now entered a stage that is quite scary for me - almost walking!  We've had several bumps and bruises along the way, and my husband assures me there will be even more in our future.  It just kills me whenever she gets hurt!  Wednesday we went to the library and she slipped and bumped her head against the plastic crate that holds books.  She got a little gash under her eye, and I felt just awful.  How do you deal with the bumps and bruises of life?  Do you feel guilty about them?  

Today, we went to my parents house. Julia is very excited, i told her to wait for me because i need to talk to my boss first before leaving. Well, she did not listen to me. She went to my boss house and told me if we can go. I have no choice but to say "yes" and when we arrived, she Blessed and kiss her grandparents, auntie's, uncle and cousins. She immediately play with her cousins namely maan and bj. They mess the room of their grandparents. I saw her enjoying because she really do not have playmates. Obviously, they got fight again but after few minutes they are playing again.

Everytime i see the joy in her lips, i cannot say anything but to thank God. I believe that i do not deserve a very intelligent and kind daughter but i will try my best. This day is another happy day for me and Julia. We are able to get along with my family. I really miss them and i am sure julia also do. I can wait to visit them again on my free day.

So, I'm changing my daughter's diaper a few days after we got back from the hospital. I had her on her changing mat on the floor and I was sitting cross-legged at her feet. I reached down, removed her soiled diaper and set it aside. I grabbed a wipe and began cleaning her tiny tush. The next thing I know, my leg is covered in baby poop. I looked at her and realized that she wasn't quite finished "doing her business" and had managed to shoot it out about a foot onto my bare leg. I was too stunned to do anything at first then couldn't do anything but laugh. Nobody had told me that they could do that! Apparently, it's not that uncommon, something I only found out about after I laughingly told my mom. She said that it happens all the time, and she would know since she's the director of a child care center. But no one thought to mention it to me as a warning before the fact. So now I've officially been tagged by my daughter and even though it was a little disgusting, I've found that as a mom, I find poop to be quite hilarious. If I didn't have a sense of humor about it, considering how many diapers I change in a day, I would likely go insane. Hope there's others of you out there who have learned to find humor in poop too!

During important events such as Christmas, Ramadan, Eastern etc, our kids can get some money from friends, grand mothers, grand fathers, relatives, even from us. When the kids are small how we should manage the baby budget? Do you put any money outside in a separate account for your baby? Have you think about it? I know there are so many difficulties because always we must spend so much money on baby formula, diapers, toys, dresses. Even in this situation we must think at our child future. I have opened a separate account for my daughter for saving money for school. How the account function: 1. I can deposit any amount of money in account 2. I am not available to take any amount of money from this account until my daughter Arianna reaches the 18 years old. 3. In case if we want to close the account, we can get the money back. I am sure the money can help our daughter for school. Sometimes never know what can happen with us on future, maybe no jobs or others things. I highly recommended the keep separate the baby budget.

Johnny had his check-up today. They recently implemented an additional check-up between the ages of three and four to cut down on child abuse/child neglect. Anyway, it went pretty well. When we first moved here we went to the only pediatrician in town. Many people are quite happy with him, but he was not a good match for our family. He made the kids nervous (which led to screaming and a refusal to cooperate), and somehow I ended up either feeling incompetent or worried about some mysterious diagnosis. After another visit that left the boys in tears and me with shaking hands, I decided that it wasn't worth it, and we changed doctors. As there is only one pediatrician in town, we went to a GP instead. This GP has many familys/children as patients and has four children of his own. I really like his manner with children: very easygoing and relaxed. Since we've been going there we had no problem with screaming kids trying to escape from the doctor!

Today was no exception. Everything went well. Johnny is right in the middle as far as height/weight are concerned. Everything else looked fine as well. My little one didn't talk which wasn't a big surprise as he never does so with strangers. The doctor didn't push it though so it wasn't an issue at all.

I would like to advise everyone to change pediatritians if you are not happy with the one you are currently going to.  Being a (new) mom is stressful enough, you don't need the extra aggravation and worry that you will experience if you don't have the right practitioner. Even if there is nothing "wrong" with the doctor and your best friend loves him, if he leaves you feeling upset every time you go there, he is not for you. Find another one instead!

As the mother of three small children (Sarah, three and a half, Jack, 19 months, and Mary, 9 weeks), I am a very busy woman.  I frequent the parks and basically live at the local children's museum on rainy days.  I bathe my children at least once a day (sometimes twice...depending on their condition at the end of the day). I blow dry my daughter's hair, which has been a necessity ever since she took it upon herself to cut a clump of her already short hair and ended up looking like Rosie O'Donnell with that weird haircut.  I iron my kid's clothes almost daily.   I spend a lot of energy on my children's appearance.  I understand the importance of being presentable.  And while my children are still small enough where their appearance doesn't matter to any of their little friends, it's nice to hear people comment on how nice my kids  look.   I, on the other hand, take about ten minutes from the beginning of my shower to putting on my shoes.  I run a brush through my hair, throw it into a ponytail, put on the same skirt I wore the day before (the army green one...aka the only piece of nonmaternity clothes that fits), grab my sunglasses,   put on my sneaks or flip flops and go, my little fashion plates in tow.  How did this happen to me?

Now, although this topic (my frumpiness) may seem a bit shallow, I think it masks a more important issue; how hard it is for mothers to find time for themselves, and slip into the mommy role, leaving themselves out of the picture.  Don't get me wrong, I love my children and I love being home with them.  I just feel that I should love me a little bit more.  I don't feel that I am a bad mother for wanting to take better care of myself.  I miss looking good.  I miss me.  This frump is like an unwanted visitor who has taken over my body...bringing some cellulite and varicose veins with her.  I hate the frump.  And so, my friends, I am waging a war with the frump. 

I began my attack on the frump last week, when I got a very nice haircut at a very nice salon.  Now, mind you, I had not set foot into a salon in over a year.  I even...gasp!...had my eyebrows waxed.  I would consider this monumental step a battle won, if it were not for the fact that I have not had one chance to blow dry my hair...it has remained trapped in a messy bun.  I have remained trapped in the damned army green skirt.

Tomorrow, though, Sarah has an open house for her preschool, and, Heaven help me, I will not let the Frump show up.  Starting tomorrow, I will not go out with chipped toenail polish ever again.  I will not put my hair into a ponytail without blow drying it first.  I will not wear maternity clothes.  I will not wear the Army green skirt and I will not wear the saggy white nursing bra that looks like something a grandmother would wear.  I am going to start focusing on me, even if that means losing a few minutes of precious sleep in the morning (and gaining some time for myself).  I feel that if I start taking care of what's on the outside, I will start taking care of what's on the inside.  And while I'm proud of the job I am doing as a mother, I feel that it's time for me to be proud of the job I am doing as a woman as well.  Now is the time for me to begin a new chapter in my life.  I'm all done with looking and feeling like a mess.  I want to be someone my daughters want to emulate.  I want to be a new and improved Melissa, in all aspects of my life. 

I will beat the Frump!

I just wanted to share that I am a first time mommy well soon to be. In this picture I am 22 weeks along and I am having identical boys!  I am 31 years old now and when I was a young girl my hope was to get pregnant by the age of 26 and no later than 30. I got my prayer then I said I wanted to have the boy first, I got that wish to DOUBLE! 

I was also under the understanding that I was highly unlikely to ever get pregnant. My little sister and I had a long talk about her carrying for me. Then the next day it was confirmed that I was expecting!!! 

What I really wanted to share in this story is that God really is awsome and I could never ask for anything more special then what he has in store for me now

Finally, tonight was the night Laney had been waiting all summer for!  We packed up the already mentioned supplies, put Jake in his stroller and walked over to the school.  We went to Laney's new classroom, right next to her room from last year.  This is all according to her plan.  She wanted to stay close to her first grade teacher.  She decided she wanted to be in a second/third grade mixed class.  And she loves Mrs. C.  Somehow, her plan worked perfectly!  (That's something she could share with me, my plans haven't been working out as well for a while now!)  There is even a cherry on top of her perfect plan...two of her friends are in her class.  One is in her gymnastics class and we carpool with her, so having them in the same class makes it very nice for us moms.  The other girl is her very best friend, Ainsley.  We don't know how it happened, but the girls have had the same class since kindergarten and will be together for two more years.  Ainsley's mom and I hope that this "togetherness" works well for the girls.  They are both strong-willed, only children who definitely have their arguments. (OK, maybe Laney has Jake...but he has yet to have an impact on her "only childness" in a big way)  But there has yet to be a problem with the girls in class, recess...yes, lunch room...yes, but not in class.  So I guess they can turn it off when they need to.  Hopefully this will hold true, since they will be in the same class for two more years!  Mrs. C is so sweet and loves to be called "Mrs. C."  Laney loved picking out her desk, in a different table group than Ainsley, but right next to her none the less.  She liked that this year they get to keep the supplies they brought to class and even got a special drawer with their name on it for extras.  She's very excited to start school next Tuesday and meet all the other kids in her class!

For some time now I have been trying to get Benedict interested in learning to read. Not so much because I am pushy but because I thought it would be helpful to teach him reading in English now, before he starts school in September. Growing up bilingual of course also means that he will have to learn how to read in two languages. Though the mechanics are the same, the letter sounds are quite different in some cases and I thought it would be confusing for him trying to learn to read in both languages at once.

In school they will, quite obviously, only teach him German, so one way or another it will be up to me to teach him how to read English. Anyway, so far all my efforts were worse than useless. Even though I really tried to approach it in an easy-going manner, he got quite spooked. So spooked in fact, that I abandoned all attempts to teach him. Benedict does not do well with any sort of pressure or most direct instruction. As a result, I had pretty much given up hope that he would learn it in the near future.

But lo and behold, yesterday he read the first of our Bob books to Johnny all on his own without any prompting from me. I am so excited! Though I know that he still has many sounds to learn (he knows the letter sounds but there are still all those different vowel sounds and sight words and and and), he finally has understood how reading works. I am so excited for him, as I have always loved to read.

 

 

 

Well, by now it was Wednesday and definitely time to go home. The boys played a bit more outside, and around 9 am we went to the train station. My friend had a doctor's appointment and couldn't take us to the station. However, it is quite close to their house so it wasn't a problem. I bought another children's magazine for Benedict and some candy for the trip (I am not above using bribery as you can tell).

Unfortunately, the first train we had to take was quite full. We struggled through various wagons (me loaded down with backbag, bag, stroller etc.) looking for a nice place to sit. Eventually, we came to a full stop when a dog was lying in the aisle, and Johnny (who is rather spooked by most animals) refused to go another inch. However, we did then find two spaces and Johnny got to sit on my lap. The boys really were quite well-behaved on the first part of the journey.

There was more room on the second train and nothing major happened. Then we still had to ride on the commuter train. By this time the behaviour of my kids was deteriorating (no surprise after over 4 hours travelling). Getting home from the train station to our house was a bit of a pain as it was kind of hot and I had a lot of stuff to carry. But eventually we made it and in the early afternoon we were finally back home!!

All in all it was a nice trip but pretty exhausting. I wish Benedict had acted a bit better but I am glad he had a good time playing with J. for the most part.

 

A lot is being mentioned about being a ‘fit' kid these days. Who is a fit kid? A fit kid eats well, does a lot of physical activity and has a healthy weight. A fit body works well, feels good, reads well and do many activities. We as parents can help our child into developing properly and healthily. Some points that are mentioned below will guide you:

-There should be variety in the food. In case your child is fussy, he will not get too many ingredients in the diet. He will get food deficient in important minerals.

-Therefore encourage your child into tasting new food. Try including green vegetables and fruits in the diet. This may not seem easy but then you have to do it.

- Try to inculcate habit to drink water and milk. Water is the best material for removing toxins from our body. It keeps the blood running to various parts of the body thereby ensuring optimum dispersal of food throughout the body.

 

When I learned about PCOS or polycystic ovarian syndrome from my friend who is sufferring from such condition, I became more curious about it. I was thinking, if any woman suffering from PCOS is left untreated, does that mean there's a possibility that she won't be able to conceive anymore? Or how about those who are having medications, are their chances to get pregnant big or are they just wasting their time and money on that?

 

I tried to put myself in the shoes of my friend. What if it was me who is suffering from PCOS? How will I be able to handle it? I remembered her one time telling me that her attempt to get pregnant failed, even if she was given a medication to become fertile. She was very sad when she told me that, and as a woman and a friend, I felt her pain. She even joked that she'd borrow my womanhood so she'd get pregnant. I just smiled at her and said, "hey don't lose hope!" That's all I could do for her.

 

I really feel sad that there are women who are struggling to conceive, while in fact it should have been every woman's ability and gift. And what's worse, there are even women who resort to abortion due to unwanted pregnancy. I mean, how can life be so unfair that those who don't want to get pregnant do get pregnant while those who want are having a hard time doing so or even deprived on that.

 

I'd certainly hope and pray that my friend would still be able to conceive and be a mom herself. She is very nice to my baby Gaby, so I'm sure she'd also make a great mom to her would-be angel.

Well I am finally a ( very sore ) mommy!

 

Nikita Rebecca Eden born August 22nd 00:53am, 6lbs14.6oz . Healthy, cute and very well behaved. I ended up going to the hospital Thursday night at 9pm because I had been cramping and feeling crappy the whole day. The woman said I had only dilated to 2cm, but the cervix was soft. She was pretty non-chalante towards Ric's mom and myself like she didnt want us there and told us to go home. She said after having a shower and watching t.v, see how I feel and come in if I need to. Well, I went home in pian, had a shower and then I got an urge like I had massive constipation. So, I sat on the toilet and pushed,  hard.

 

I heard something pop and my mucous plug literally shot into the toilet! I grabbed some toilet paper to bend down and clean up spillage on thefloor and then the waterworks came, how convenient lol. I'd just had a shower and NOW all of this is happening. So I tried let out what I could, and grabbed a towel and some clothes. Everytime I had a contraction I leaked, which was a real pain. Ric's mom raced to the car ( I waddled behind) and off we went. Thank god we didn't hit any red lights, lol I would have had her in the car. Got in the door at E.R, water everywhere and they got me in a wheelchair and pretty much ran me upstairs. 15 minutes after arriving at the hospital, Nikita was born.

 

I have never ever had so much pain before. The contractions where bearable, but as soon as I saw that bed I got urges to push so I lay own and automatically started pushing. I got her out in 4 pushes, they didn't even have time to do any pain meds for me. The best they did was laughing gas when she was just about out and then it goes hazy, as I was so high off it I don't remember  much else haha. I did rip though because it was so fast and hard, and I apparently kept moving when the doc tried sewing me up. That would explain the hackjob I saw in the mirror this morning, eh. The swelling is starting to go down but I still can't sit properly.

 

So, that has been my weekend adenture. She just missed her father and mines "would be" one year anniversary by 53 minutes. Regardless, this is one very special little girl and an experience I will never forget. I can't say that I would want to experience birth again, but after seeing and holding my little one I have absolutely no regrets :-)

Hello ladies,

my husband birthday today 21.08, i have attached the birthday cake.

football birthday cake

 

 

 

I don't know about you, but there are a lot of people in the Pacific Time zone who are running on empty about now.  For me and many of them, the Olympics are at fault.  Or maybe we should be blaming NBC, whose "prime time" programming shows the Olympics every night starting around 7pm and ending around 1am.  In our house seeing gymnastics is huge, for Laney & I anyway.  Dave watches, but he loves all sports and is really a basketball guy.  With a 7 year old who love gymnastics, it's difficult to explain why the TV says gymnastics tonight at 7pm or 8pm and also why the broadcast teases it constantly, as "coming up soon" when it doesn't start until about 10pm everynight.  Ten is much past a 7 year old's bed time and getting close to mine.  To go through a whole day without hearing what already happened in the Olympics so you can watch it at your bedtime that night is an effort in itself.  So when I use the DVR to record the Olympics (and the show after since the coverage doesn't end at the time it says it will.....strange for a recorded program.....), I like to watch it when it's on, so I know what happens before the athletes come on the Today show the next morning.  Laney doesn't mind so much waiting until the next day, since we can fastforward through the commercials and the hours of other sports she could care less about to get to the gymnastics.  So I can't wait for it to be over, I can finally go to sleep sometime BEFORE midnight!  It has sure been a lesson for Laney about what "coming up SOON" means.  Speaking of lessons, I've got to get downstairs and start last night's coverage for her, so I can explain how a TIE gets one athlete a gold and one a silver......a lot of lessons for a 7 year old.

Me & My daughter

 

 

 

My husband & our daughter

 

A friend sent me a link to a canadian site that teaches sign language to babies. The whole idea is to be able to communicate easily with baby through use of signs and hand signals months before the baby is ready and ab;e to communicate with you verbally through words. I must admit, I thought it was another scam but after watching some videos on YouTube and doing some reading it doesn't sound so bad. I think the more stimulus the baby recieves early on with things like this, the better. Communication is the most important part of any relationship.

 

The kids have to be between the ages of 6 months and 2.5yrs. ( What age do kids start talking at anyway, 9 months??) You can get books and self teach at home, or do interactive classes with an instructor. They even sell little kits to get you going. http://www.babysigns.ca/classes.htm#1_2 . I didn't see any prices, but looking at the kits I'm thinking it's not a cheap process. I may or may not do this with Nikita, I'll have to do more research on it, Nikki's dad is not convinced about it yet lol. If anyone has given this  a try before let me know your opinions.

I'm not sure if it was the pears, the apple juice or the water...but Jake had a huge poop this morning.  I'm hoping that we've gotten through our first bout with constipation.  But since I know nothing happens quite like I plan, I'm probably wrong!  When I looked at his food from lunch yesterday, I was happy to see that it wasn't a mixture with banana.  It was actually a mixture with pears, which were recommended in the www.babycenter.com article I had posted yesterday.  Then I fed him the same pear & strawberry mixture for dinner.  I mixed it with oatmeal that I had made with apple juice & formula.  He really liked it and I hoped it helped him.  He woke up to eat about 1am, just as I was heading to bed and then ate again at 7:30am, so it was a pretty good night for him.  Today I think I'll give him the apricots for lunch.

 

We've got to go pick up Laney from her last camp of the summer in a little while.  Today she started Miley Dance Camp, she was so excited.  It's a 1/2 day camp for 4 days with a Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus theme.  She loves everything Hannah or Miley and gets to dress up and do her hair like a rockstar in the morning then at camp they put sparkly spray in it and teach them a couple dances to her favorite songs.  Of course we were in a hurry before her friend's parents picked her up this morning to get the hair all "rockstar" before she left.  Today's "do" was a pony tail high on one side, very cute.  I don't know what to do tomorrow or how to do it 4 different ways this week.  But I've got so many other things going on that will have to wait until tomorrow.  Maybe she'll see someone today and want to do it that way tomorrow, that will save my brain cells thinking about hairstyles for 7 year olds!

I had several reasons for separating from the army, but I knew my son was the most important.  I didn't want to put my family through dual military parenting/family life like I had seen with so many other soldiers.  Not that it's impossible to do, and I think there are many soldiers out there who are doing a great job.  I knew, however, it wasn't for us.  Part of me couldn't wait to spend more time with my son.  The other part of me knew I'd miss the working life, but at that point I was pretty fed up with my current job, so I'd tell myself that if I every started to regret becoming a stay at home mom, then I should just think back to my last few months in the army and how much I just wanted to be at home with my son.  So that's what I do today, everytime I get down on myself for not working.  I just think back to the days when I had to wake him up at 5 in the morning to get him ready for daycare.  Then spend all day at work (6:30 to 6pm) and pick him back up from daycare to make the 45 minute drive home.  All of that only to spend about a half hour with my son feeding him and bathing him then putting him to bed.  Then doing all over again the next morning.  It didn't feel much like a family life.  So why do I miss it?

Again, while on yahoo this morning I was pretty astounded with the amount of teens under the age of 15 on the forums asking pregnancy questions. The  youngest was 11 years old with a 16 year old boyfriend that was pregnant and afraid to tell her parents because they would both get grounded. She apparently has strict parents. What the heck is going  on that kids are sexually active at 11 years old !?! That is not normal.

 

I partly blame the parents for allowing their child way to much freedom. That, and with the questions some if these kids ask it's like there is no sexual education over there. These kids are really naive on the subject. Some think the quick answer is abortion, which obviously is NOT the way to go. When kids that age get pregnant ( and I assume the age of consent is 16) what happens to them? Is the other party charged with statutory rape? Is there a consequence for the parent? WHAT DO THE PARENTS DO FOR THEIR DAUGHTER?  It frightens me to think that kids think it's ok. If my daughter became sexually active as such a young age I'd probably kill the little bastard that did it to her  and make his life a legal mess. I'd probably make her keep the child too, because you reep what you sow and she will need to understand that there are consequences.

 

I don't know. I think it's just a sad thing that's happening. What quality of life can a girl offer a baby when she is a baby herself. And that fact that at that age the boys that do this seem to get away scott free and probably do it again later on in life, emotionally using the girl to get rid of  the baby if they want to keep their relationship which at that age the girl thinks it is worth it.  :-(

I'm feeling even better today!  Jake slept most of the night again, needing his pacifier only a couple times and waking once to eat.  I guess feeding him more solid food has helped, who knows!  I'm just thankful for what I'm getting right now!  He's sleeping for his short morning nap right now, before I have to wake him up so we can take Laney to gymnastics.  She's been doing gymnastics since she was two, we took a parent participation class.  She has always loved it & wanted to compete.  But this summer, she's been going 6 hours a week and hasn't been having as much fun doing it.  It think that her interest really is tied to how much her teacher can inspire her.  And this summer the teachers just haven't been as encouraging as they have been in the past.  She has been bugging me to take some dance classes, but I've held back since I thought 6 hours a week of gymnastics was too much by itself, let alone another hour or two for dance.  But we found out last time that her class will continue to be two hours three days a week during school (in the past it's been only 2 days a week), and she really wasn't excited at the thought of having this class right after school for three days during the week.  It seems like so much for a 7 year old second grader.  Sports (at least around here) seem so intensive at such a young age.  Kids need to pick something to specialize in just so they have time for it and since they are so expensive for the parents.  It's sad to think that a child doesn't even get to explore all the sports he or she might love just because they don't have time.  So today when Laney goes to her class, we're going to ask about a less intensive gymnastics class for her so she can take a dance class or two.  If she decides she really wants to go back on the track toward being a competitive gymnast, I think she should be able to choose that later.  Why not try ballet or another dance class, and later have time for basketball or another sport.  When you're 7 you should be able to "play the field" in your sports choices!

I live with a woman child.  She is ten. In the space of a moment she can morph from a little girl to what she thinks is a grown woman with all its attendent attitude and "know-it-all-ness."  Sometimes she is as confused as I am about all these changes; other times she is large and in charge and still at other times she has the insight and intuitiveness of a wise old woman.  Most of the time I can't keep up.

I wasn't prepared for adolescence to come charging into our home this early.  In the space of a few months I began to see what should have been the obvious tell tale signs of puberty.  I begrudgingly bought her training bras just a few months ago thinking there was lots of time before we really had to worry about pads and PMS and real boobies.  Then one peaceful Saturday afternoon as my husband and I took pleasure in the rare opportunity to nap we woke to discover the girls had devoured nearly an entire box of Costco cookies...16 cookies to be precise.  Woman-child would only admit to eating "a couple" while the youngest insisted she only ate 2 cookies.  The math just didn't add up and we wondered how these two could put away some many cookies.

On Monday, Woman-child came home from school telling me she had reddish brown "blood-stuff" in the toilet at school.  Mystery solved, I informed my husband.  PMS had struck Woman-child with a vengeance on Saturday....thus the missing cookies.  The husband, knowing virtually nothing about girls and "our issues" had no clue.

You would think that I have enough to keep me busy.  I am plenty busy.  My job keeps me busy and is pleasantly challenging. The girls are fun and Woman-child has some special behavioral issues that Ill have to blog about later that provide a load of challenges.  My husband and I are still working on parenting as a partnership which is also another blog for another day.  Yet,  I yearn for another baby.  I yearn for another baby knowing that my plate is full as it is. 

 

 

 

 

 

So... Just a bit about me. I'm new to pregnancy planet. I'm 21 I've been with my fiance for 8 years. We are currently TTC. I am in college for journalism and creative writing. I'm currently setting up my own website and writing a book. I just want to find others in there 20's or anyone really who is TTC, pregnant, or a mommy. I'm really just looking for a supportive community. I'm glad to be on here.

...really, not that much all day.   My husband and I joke about now that we have 2 kids - one running around hollering and another 3 months in the making - we decided that we should each be in charge of one kid.  On a lazy day, we fight over who's in charge of the unborn.  I got dibs on little he/she today...heh heh.  I did change a poop this morning, and I'm sure I helped create a tiny spleen or something-or-other.  We'll call that a days work.  Oh yeah, and I stuck a load in the wash early this morning, which, by now I'm sure smells a little funk and will have to go around again.  That's reason enough to be tired huh? 

 

Hubby's got the kiddo at his parents' and I'm sitting propped back on the couch.  This is the life and I am loving the silence.  Back in the day, I would've been going nuts sitting here by myself, now here I am relishing in the peace of the moment.  Don't get me wrong, I love my life as a mother and wife, more than anything in the whole world, but oh to be alone...in five more minutes I will miss them and wish them back, but for now...quiet. 

 

there is work to be done.  laundry to fold, to wash, to put away.  toys to pick up.  oh, and dinner to be made.  really, can I validate my slouching?  nope.  I feel like it's a mother's secret sin, hidden and unknown to the rest of the world, like sneaking a Snickers bar in the basket at the grocery store, just to scarf it on the 3 minute trip home and pretend it never happened.  I think the secrecy of the moment makes it feel all the sweeter. 

 

Who am I fooling though?  A Snickers wrapper I can hide.  This mess I cannot.  Guess I should get moving before my little monster comes home and "La la la-la....Elmo's song" fills the air again.  Ah one.  What a great age.  No inhibitions, no fears, all the world's a wonder.  I wish he'd come home.  I'd turn on Elmo and let him have at a bag of Goldfish.  I told you that would happen.  Moment's over I guess.  Momma's gotta go. 

Well, I took some castor oil this morning. It has the most foul taste and texture ever. It has been about 3 hrs and nothing, no poops, no vomiting, no cramping. I have a mild headache but I think that's from the heat of a nice sunny day, lol. I took 2 tabespoons so I am sure  took enough, and I chased it down with a sprite. I've heard of using carbonated drinks or orange juice as both work well.

 

Well, we will see. I am only 1cm dilated so maybe I need to be more. I am not sure how effaced I am though, which would probably make a difference on whether something happens or not. If I haven't got anthing in the next 3hrs I'll try again. If nothing I'll just leave it after that as I have to go see my Gyni tomorrow anyway so I will see what she has to say about the whole thing.

 

Hmmmmmmmm....... :-(

We started out with a cool, gray morning, which turned into a beautiful day with a sunny, blue sky.  We started out at the tidepools around Haystack Rock checking out the sea stars, anemones & a rare bird around her, a Black Oystercatcher.  Later in the afternoon, we headed out to the beach, setting up "camp" in front of the hotel.  Little Jake had a nice nap in his travel bed inside a little baby tent I got for him.  It's nice to have the tent, with an SPF of 50, I think.  It allowed us to stay out at the beach for a few hours not having to worry about Jake being sunburned.  Laney met some friends from Washington at the pool, and they were also at the beach, so the three of them played together in the sand.

 

Later the four of us walked out to the ocean, just as the bright sun was heading for gray clouds for it's last time today.  We took some time to say goodbye to Jessie and think about how much she loved playing in the ocean.  It's so sad to think of being at the beach again without her.  It was very difficult for Laney, but I think it's really important for her to know it's OK to talk about Jessie, the fun parts and the sad parts.  She has been closer to death than most seven year olds and we encourage her to talk about it.  When she was 2 1/2, Dave's bestfriend Brent died after a bonemarrow transplant we were hoping would cure his non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  Laney was close to Uncle Brent and we were at the hospital the night he died.  She & I were not in the room, but we were all in Seattle in the days after planning the funeral with his family.  Ever since she has been scared of people going to the hospital and is quick to say that "people die when they have cancer."  So we work very hard to share positive outcomes of people going to the hospital or who are cancer survivors.    Don't think I'm trying to compare a dog's death with someone who has cancer, but loss of someone close to you can feel very similar whether they are a person or a dog.  Laney knows that Jessie is not coming back, but she does hope that she is now with Uncle Brent, keeping him company.

 

So after an emotional day,  we came back to our room for a bath & some movies.  Thank goodness, little Jake slept better last night and is sleeping now.  We're so glad we came to "our beach" for the weekend.  We've had a great time as always and tomorrow we head home...with all the sandy laundry!

Babies can hear in Utero at a few months of age. I'm not actively looking for stuff to play to her, although I will play her some music when I have my laptop and large headphones close by. I like to look up disney songs on the application I have on my Facebook. She does also seem to respond to it by moving around more and occasionally moving closer to the headphones.

 

I'm not sure if it's because of the sounds that she can actually hear or if it's the vibrations in the bass and treble. My ex want's me to get classical music and beethhoven for Nikita to listen to because apparently he is thinking she is going to come out as a rocket scientist or something, haha, and I have no problem getting usic like that but I don't think it's going to make her smarter as I am not convinced she hears the "music". She could possibly be getting the same stimulation from listening to us talk, and with the amount of hours she is active and awake, that's alot. I do have the baby einstein 26 dvd set for her for when she is born, but I figure that is enough. I think it's a little too easy to get caught up in all these gimmicks that are available today and I don't want to purchase something and waste good money on junk. Maybe I am wrong, who knows. If anyone's given birth to the next prodigy of the world by letting them listen to music then correct me :-)

For the women on here that have had both, which is the better option if you need to have a C-Section?

 

I know for the spinal they use a Lumbar and I have heard bad things about being punctured in the wrong spot in the spine causeing major headaches and even spinal stiffness, people having to get blood patches. For Epidurals I've heard of the mother's having breakthrough pain halfway through the c-section and being able to feel their stomach's being cut.  That's not something I really want to experience here, eh. I'm pretty freaked out about that part. Also which in your opinions have a longer recovery time?? I've read  conflicting things on the internet so I am assuming it's up to the mother and how her body reacted or is there really one that has a shorter recovery rate than the other?

 

I'm not sure how I feel or which I want. I don't even know if I want C-section or Vaginal, bth have their pro's and cons. I guess in the end it's not up to me haha, it depends on how Nikita is lying and how she decides to come out.  Hopefully, if things progress quick enough it will all be over with by the end of the week :-)

Finally.....Jake is asleep!  Well, for now!  He did finally have a nice nap this afternoon too and we were lucky he took a little nap in the booth while we were out for dinner.  We walked around the shops after dinner, met a couple new to Portland from Santa Cruz, California and took pictures of each other's families in front of a whale carved out of wood overlooking the ocean in town.  Then after changing into warmer clothes, we headed out to the hotel's guest bonfire.  It's always nice to hang out & chat with people over some s'mores!  Over the years we've met a lot of different people.  Tonight most of the people were from the Portland area, but there was one family visiting Oregon for the first time from Minnesota.  It was nice to talk with them.  They came out so the father could do the Cycle Oregon weekend ride.  His goal is to do a ride in every state.  We all wished him luck.

 

Laney had a good time making s'mores, eating raw marshmallows (who knows why???) and playing with all the kids.  She's always so good making friends, probably because she's spent most of her life as an only child!  Little Jake was dressed as the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man...well, really he wore a white Winnie the Pooh winter type outfit, huge & puffy, but warm.  He seemed to love the fire, stared at it for the longest time.  It as a nice nice, mostly clear, a little breeze and a pretty sunset.  Tomorrow night there is a hot dog roast, so we'll be back out at the fire again.  The plan is to get out to the tide pools while the tide is still really out, we didn't see as much marine life as we would have liked this morning.  Then we'll hit the pool before heading to the beach for the afternoon, maybe flying kites.  Things always change, but it sounds like a nice plan!  Hopefully we'll get a little more sleep tonight! :)

Some days are busy. Some days are hectic. Some days are... well, some days are like today.

As you may remember, yesterday's plan got completely shot. Consequently, this morning I was extremely busy trying to catch up on all the work that should have been done yesterday. The phone kept ringing, so I just barely managed to finish in time for Benedict's music class.

We usually take turns getting the kids from nursery school to music class but today was the last class for this school year. Which means that all the moms get to stay and participate. If you are as rythmically challenged as I am you can imagine how much I was looking forward to this event (not). However, with a bit of luck, I manged to get through the class without mortally embarrassing myself (okay, I couldn't get the hang of all that clapping but noone noticed - I hope). Actually, it was quite fun and the children really did learn a lot during the year.

The real problem was that after the class ended at 3 pm I had to still pick up Johnny, stop at the grocery store, get home, change a diaper, get Benedict into clean clothes and get back to the End-of-Year party at the nursery school by 5 pm. Oh, and I almost forgot: Everyone was supposed to bring some food to the party. Now, a couple of days ago I had decided on what to make for this event. However, as I was rushing the boys to the store I realized there was no way that I would have time to prepare what I had planned.

What to do? I was pretty much resigned to just pick up some stuff at the bakery (you can always use more bread, right?), thereby running the risk of being judged as disorganized/lazy/horrible cook (take your pick). Of course, we shouldn't mind what others think, but who wants to be the only one without a lovingly prepared food offering. Luckily, I remembered one of our favorite snack recipes just in time. Preparation only takes about 10 minutes with about 20 more minutes oven time. We call it "Snails" - don't worry, it has nothing to do with the real thing - and both boys like it.

Here the recipe, just in case you find yourself in the same position I was in today. Even if you are a shining example of organization and scheduling, you might give our "Snails" a try some time. They are pretty tasty (and every last one got eaten up at the party!).

 

Snails

Ingredients:

6 oz ham

6 oz cream cheese with chives/onions (or some other flavored kind you like)         

Puff pastry

Preparation:

Cut ham into small cubes and mix thoroughly with the cream cheese. Roll out the puff pastry (approx. 12" by 20") and spread evenly with the mixture. Roll up firmly, starting with one of the longer sides. Cut off slices (approx. 1/4" to 1/2" wide) and put on baking sheet. Bake at 420 degrees F for about 20 minutes or until the Snails are slightly browned. Best eaten while still warm.

 

Wow, I can't believe it's my 38th birthday today!  In some ways I still feel like I'm in my 20's.  But then after getting up at night with Jake, I can feel like I'm in my 80's instead!  Of course, as happens strangley often on my birthday, it's gray and has rained in the night.  It's weird, you'd think it would be 90 just like most other Portland summer days, or maybe 80 is closer.  But it seems like I've had rain for a lot of my birthdays.  Oh well, still gotta get moving today.  My friend Teresa picked up Delaney for American Girl Dance camp, which is awesome, Jake got a little more sleep.  Now, it's off to work for Jake & me....I work one day a week at Whimzee's Scrapbook Studio in Beaverton.  It's a lot of fun!  I love scrapbooking and I'd love to hear from others who do, we could share ideas!  I design Whimzee's newsletter and I'm starting to set up their website.  I'll share it with you when I'm done!  It may be a while though, since I'm so new at it & have to squeeze it in between so many other things.  It will be fun to go in on my birthday, I love being there & getting ideas from all the girls!  I'll check back tonight & let you know how the BIG "3" "8" goes! :)

Introducing...

The Adventures of Laney n Jake

 

This is my first post & I'm very excited to share some of my life with you!  I'm 37, OK almost 38 (tomorrow is my birthday, so I don't want to get too ahead of myself...).  I have two wonderful children, Delaney & Jakob and like so many moms wish there were more hours in a day.  I'll fill you in on more details later, but suffice it to say that I was surprised to find out Jake was on the way last year after TTC for 4 years.  So from the day the Dollar Store tests said positive until now, everything about Jake has been a complete surprise to me, my husband and my, now 7 year old daughter Delaney (we call her Laney).  It's so much fun, I can't imagine life without him...did I used to be well-rested?  There is so much going on around here that I know you will find hilarious....yes, I too love to laugh at the expense of others!  It makes me feel like my life may not be so out of control after all!

 

Just one funny thing & I'm off to pick up Laney & her friend from American Girl Dance Camp!

 

Jake surprised me yet again this morning.  After laying in bed next to me breastfeeding, he was happily cooing away when I decided to change his diaper.  Now this has been interesting since we started solid food last week, you never know what you'll find.  And it wasn't the green poop that almost made me pee my pants!  When I lifted his legs to clean his little bottom, he peed right into his ear and all over his face (on my comforter too....just one more thing to wash....)!  The look on his face was priceless, especially since he's only peed two other times when I was changing him (yes, both on my comforter....when will I learn?).  Poor little guy, drips of pee all over his face and pooling in his ear!

 

What did I do before I had such a cute little guy to laugh at? 

I told you that i am busy doing things. I always takes time to play with Julia because i do not want her to feel pity. I want her to appreciate and love me as a mother. Playing with her is a big Factor, I may be old but i can go to the world she have. I observed that many mothers do not do this. Instead, they get mad to their children when they where asked to play with them.

Julia and Me always play like:

(A) Reading Books- I look for books where i can set some example and convert it to playing while learning.

(B) Watching Cartoons- Before watching cartoons. I make sure that it will give her good benefits

(C) Bite my hands- I clean my fingers first and let her to bite it. I pretend that she will hurt me and then i will see her laughing

(D) Malling-We go to Malls for arcade games

(E) Visitin Park- We play on the grass and eat many foods

(F) PLaying as a daughter- My daughter loves it when i pretend that she is my mother and copy her attitude.

(G) Kitchen Play- I bought her Kitchen Set for toddler and we play together

(H) Dancing and Singing- We listen to Rock songs for church and let play with it.

This are the simple things we do. Sometimes i do not how it happens but i found us playing together.

I admit that i am busy doing many things on the internet. I know that my daughter with an early age get irritated and i observed that she is mad but i have no choice. Mother like me mostly scarifice things for our children. To make my daughter stop the feelings she have when i am using computer. I always show her how much i love her. You must be asking how?

(A) I stop when she come near me. I hugg and Kiss her

(B) I love to cuddle cuddle her

(C) I sit her on my lap and watch me typing on the internet

(D) I always say I love you

(E) We watch Gulay (Vegetables) and Jollibe in you Tube while dancing and singing together

(F) Give her everything she needs

(H) Funny but we check her Friendster together. She loves to see her Picture

(I) We watch together on the television

(J) Of course, we always buy on the store. She loves food.

(K) I teach her what is wrong and right

(L) We take time to go anywhere for bonding

(M) I always remind her about God

(N) I teach her to read books because i love books too much.

(O) I explain things that she do not know

(P) I always make sure that she eat healthy foods.

(Q) We take a bath together and talk about things knowing that she is too young.

(R) I listen to Everything that she will say even if sometimes i do not understand

(S) I believe about her intelligent and strength

(T) I talk to kids who hurt her

(U) I protect her from harmful human and things

(V) I look at her seriously . It is my way of saying  i love and miss her even if im just near her. The funny thing about  is she will come near me and hugg me

(W) Even if i am mad,when i see her smiling. It's all gone

(X) I love to tickle and joke with her. It's my way of saying i love you in a funny way

(Y) I feel bad when she is crying

(Z) and the rest my heart only knows.

 

UTI means Urinary Tract Infection. Many women have this cases specially pregnant one. My sister used to have UTI when she was pregnant and it bother us too much. There is a big tendency to loose fetal or give birth too early. She describes the feeling to be frequent and pain on the urination. Sometimes i see her crying because of this and it makes me feel bad.

My parents told him to go to doctor which she really did. After consulting the doctor we found out that she do not urinate when she needed to, eat unhealthy foods and uncomfortable underwares. The Doctor reminds her to do this things:

(A)Wear Proper underwear -Underwear should be cotton because it helps the skin to breath well. Synthetic fiber can cause UTI

(B) Drink 3 TO 4 Liters a day- It helps to flush out the infection to the urinary tract

(C) Wiping after Bowel Movements- Wiping back and front but remember to use cotton. It will help your stay clean inside.

(D)Take Medicine- There are many safe medicine to use like Amoxicilin which are safe but before taking it. Consult your doctor.

I hope this will help pregnant women who have UTI.

On my own experice, I find it hard to sleep when i was pregnant. I am sure that almost all women who are pregant also encpunter this. I feel uncomfortable and it makes me feel sick. Pregnant women should have enough sleep for the baby and her health. We also know that sleep can release all the stress we have on the whole day.

Did you know that warm bath can help pregnant women to sleep properly. It is best way to do it on the evening because it can help you to have a better sleep. You also need to remember things about bathing like:

Never Bath with hot Water

     Many women loves to bath using hot water but it should be prohibited when pregnant specially for the time of first trimester. It will affect the developmen of the fetus. When i was studying nursing i have learned that you should avoid your body temperatute to rise on 102 degrees and above.

 

Clean water

    It is essential if your pregnant or not. You need water to eliminate waste not to add waste in your skin. Clean water can also help you to feel more relax and fresh.

Check the Comfort Room

    Remember to ask someone to check the bathroom for you because it is dangerous if it's slippery. There is a big tendency to fall that cause bad to the baby and your health.

Too much Chemicals

    There are many things when bathing that have chemical ingredients. You should choose natural first.

Too much scrub

    Never scrub your skin too much. It can cause you rashes and non good looking skin.

Remember simple ways is good to do. Never say later because in the end, your the one who will suffer.

 

Constipation is a feeling that you will feel if the food you eat fails to pass to bowel movements. Another term for this is Dyschesia. Many pregnant women encounter this and they do not know how to ease the pain and feel comfortable again. On my own experince when i was pregnant, i look for many ways to prevent Constipation. I asked my obgyne about it and she told me to:

Dring water

Water is essential for many things. Drinking it can help a lot. You should drink when you wake up on the morning, during the day and before sleeping. Doctors recommend to drink water 8 to 9 glass a day for pregnant and non pregnant. If you do not drink water there is a big tendency that your saliva will dry and you can feel that you have difficulty in breathing.

 

Bowel Movements

Remember to go to bathroom if you need to remove all the waste you eat on the whole day. I learned that the best time to go for bowel movements is after breakfast because it is easy to attempt to remove all waste. You should also need to remember not to stain to much.

Proper Diet

This is essential not only for constipation but also for your health. Proper diet includes vegetables and frest fruits. In fruits it should include apple, orange, strawberries, grapes and many more. In Vegetables it should includes lettuce, carrots, cabbage, beans and many more. Never ever drink tea specially when you are already constipated.

I recommend this for pregnant women to prevent constipation. It is a matter of doing this steps or suffer later. Many women should learn this to help them stop constipation.

I didn't tell my husband I was pregnant with our third child for over a week after I found out. I was in denile. I thought the test must be wrong. Our first child, a girl, had been a surprise, since a doctor had told us it was unlikely we would ever be parents. We tried for two years before our second child, a boy, was born. Now, there I was, facing another pregnancy three months after the birth of my son. The timing couldn't be worse. We had just moved from Washington state to Connecticut for my husband's job, I had begun my job search to re-enter the workplace, we bought a car perfect for a family of four, and declared to our family and friends that we were done having children. I felt foolish. I felt like Jamie Lynn Spears and I were the only two people who couldn't seem to figure out birth control.

Eventually, I did tell my husband. He had been waiting for me to say something (apparently, my hair smells different when I'm pregnant). He was excited and supportive. We decided together that I would end my job search and become a stay-at-home mom. We knew it would be a financial stretch, but that it would be the best thing for the family, and eventually give me an opportunity to persue work I was more passionate about. My family, friends, and gynocologist all sent me congratulations. They told me I was blessed, and how much fun having three children will be. The problem was I didn't want another child. 

Before I found out I was pregnant, I was getting ready for a hard-core diet and exercise routine to get rid of those extra baby/holiday pounds. I was looking forward to a year with few changes going through three major changes in 2007. I could still vividly remember the pain of childbirth, and never wanted to go through it again. Besides, we were already financially strapped with two kids, three could break us. I began to feel guilty for not being happy about my pregnancy. To add to the guilt, two of my friends had been trying to conceive for years. Who could I vent to? I knew I had to see the preganancy through to the end. I began to wonder, "Will I resent this child? Will I be able to love her like I love my other two?"

Now, I am 33 weeks along. I can say without a doubt that I love my new daughter. I play with her feet through my belly, and sing to her softly during quite moments. My oldest--now 6--gives her hugs and kisses every day. We are all looking forward to her arrival in September. There is one more obsticle to overcome: my son, who will be one year in August, is in for a big surprise. I have been home with him, caring for his every need. This will be the greatest challenge--maintaining the bond I've formed with him while providing an equal amount of support for my new baby, and remembering the very different needs of my oldest. Each week will bring a new challenge, which I will be documenting in this blog.

Through these past months of change, I have found support in an unexpected place--my grandmother. She bore 4 children in 5 years, with another three in the 7 years that followed. I only hope I can be as successful of a mother as she has been.

IMAGINE bringing your baby to work everyday, up until about the age of crawling.
This is happening in the US, where workplace culture is undergoing a radical shift in response to employee needs for flexibility. More than 100 companies have baby-at-work programs in 20 different types of business fields ranging in size from three to 3000 employees.

Employers enable mothers to structure their work schedule around the needs of their babies, such as sleeping and feeding patterns that can change at a whim. No day is the same.

A US study, co-authored by doctor Ginny Spring, Blending Work and Family, found women used the programs because they wanted more one-to-one contact with their babies and to continue breastfeeding; there were also financial considerations and the perception that bringing their babies to work would reduce absenteeism. The women reported better job satisfaction and decreased stress.

Some believe the baby-at-work programs are set to take hold in Australia. Affordable quality child care in the US and Australia is out of reach for many families. Couple this with a lack of paid maternity and parental leave, and it's not surprising to see why some mothers might leap at this option.

As in Australia, the US doesn't provide a national paid-maternity leave program. Carla Moquin, president of Parenting in the Workplace Institute in the US and author of Babies at Work: Bringing New Life to the Workplace, says it is extremely rare to be given paid leave of more than three months.

Said Moquin, "There are about 67 million women currently in the United States workforce, and 55 per cent of women in the workforce have a baby under one year of age. This means millions of babies are in day care by the time they are three months old."

Moquin says there is generally a lot of scepticism about babies at work, until people actually try it. She says it can takes a few days for a parent to get used to working while caring for a baby at work, but once the parent and baby get into a routine, the programs work well.

"We are not advocating this instead of paid maternity leave or other benefits, we just see it as a means of enabling parents and businesses to have more options -- especially since so many people just aren't in a financial position to stay at home with their babies for as long as they would like."

Sara Charlesworth, senior research fellow at RMIT's Centre of Applied Social Research in Melbourne, says the program could be useful for some mothers but she stresses the need for proper paid maternity leave, parental leave and affordable child care. She many women would be unable to access these programs, such as those working in retail, hospitality, factories and community services.

The World Health Organisation recommends mothers breastfeed for at least six months, but recent research from the University of Melbourne's Key Centre for Women's Health in Society found mothers who returned to work full time within three months of birth, were twice as likely to have stopped breastfeeding by the time their baby was six months old. Nearly 70 per cent of Australian women of child-bearing age are in the workforce and only one third of mothers have access to paid maternity leave.

Tracey Hodgkins, chief executive of Australian Experiential Learning (AELC) in Perth, says the issue is so serious that she has at least one enquiry a day from women who want to work for her because she offers a baby-at-work program. She originally enabled her daughter Jessica Hodgkins, events manager with AELC, to return to work with her 10-week old daughter Ava.

"I chose to support her and made the decision to also support any other person in my employ -- which was a good thing, as our second pregnancy in the office was on its way just a few months later. I have always believed that it takes a community to raise a balanced child. This is just an extension of the community principle.

"Parents who must work should have the choice not to be separated from their babies in the first year of life. The fact that there are so many children in child care is not necessarily a parent's first choice, just one that is an economic reality. I believe it to be my obligation as an employer to do what I can to support my own work community."

Hodgkins sees the programs as an excellent recruitment tool, and says it is very inexpensive to set up. There are strict policies and procedures, and the mothers must sign a contract document stating they are fully responsible for their children while they are in the workplace. Hodgkins's employees are set up with laptops and access to their central server so they can work from home if necessary.

Jessica Hodgkins and Ava share an office, along with accounts officer Tyllye Reti and her daughter Madelyn. Both women returned to work by the time their daughters were three months of age, and did so for financial reasons. Neither wanted to leave their child in child care.

"I get a lot of 'wow, you're really lucky'," says Reti. "It's very rare, so people think it's amazing that we've got the opportunity to actually have our babies at work with us."

Jessica Hodgkins works two days from home and three days in the office, and occasionally travels interstate with Ava when she is co-ordinating an event. She says babies need a lot of care and attention, but they are also quite happy as long as they are near you.

"Every half hour I'll go and sit with her and play with her, read nursery rhythms or read a book -- I get to have that interaction with her throughout the day, but she is also very happy and very independent. A lot of people think it is more distracting than it actually is."

Hodgkins has spoken to many women in HR in different companies who are enthusiastic about the idea, but the managers -- mostly men -- are worried about productivity.

Moquin says companies often feel their productivity goes up because people are so much happier having the babies around. Companies also benefit from mothers returning to work sooner. The companies feel that it's better to have a mother who is 70 or 80 per cent productive while at work with her baby than not having her at work at all. Parents tend to be much more focused on their jobs when they're not worrying about their tiny babies in the care of strangers.

Wendy Zanotelli, chief operating officer of UNCLE Credit Union in California, is a staunch supporter of the programs. Initially, she was resistant to the idea because she couldn't fathom how it could possibly work, especially with tellers. In 2003 they decided to run a trial, and Zanotelli has brought her own son in at times.

"As a credit union we have different working environments. We have employees working on the teller line, in the back office environment with open cubicles, in the call centre with an open floor plan, as well as in offices. We have baby stations set up in the restrooms for nappy changes and we tailor each work area accordingly for breastfeeding.

"We have approximately 80 employees and have had 19 babies in the program. One mum has had two babies in the program and is due with her third child.

"We've had four dads participate in the program, and one of them brought both of his sons at different times. My son was the 17th baby. Due to my crazy schedule of meetings both on and off-site, I didn't bring him every day but it was certainly great to have the option to bring him when I needed to." Zanotelli says it certainly makes breastfeeding easier.

Zanotelli says one of the biggest surprises in having the programs has been the increased morale and camaraderie among the staff. "Almost all of our other employees love to have the babies around. It encourages employees to get to know one another on a more personal level as they talk about their families.

"I understand people's hesitation, I recommend to anyone to try it -- see how it works. They say it takes a village to raise a child and I see that here, it works really well." Source:http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24072233-5010800,00.html

 

 

At nine months, your baby is about 5-7 pounds in weight. His lungs and heart become mature and they are ready to function even outside, i.e. in the world. The brain grows further and the baby is able to see and hear very clearly. Your baby becomes les active because of the fact that he is finding less and less space to move around inside the uterus. But he is acquiring immunities from the mother, so that he protects himself from the germs once he is born.

You start experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions. These are very light contractions basically preparing you for the labor. Your ankle might swell and the lower back may ache. By the end of 35^th week the baby usually takes a head down position. In case your baby decides to stay up-right, (then he is a breach baby) and your doctor will decide whether to go for a caesarian or not.

Since I've given birth, getting rid of these streaks of white scars in my tummy has been one of my considerations. Yeah, I want my stretch marks removed. Who would want them to stay when you can't even raise your hand when you're wearing a tee because it would be a shame if they sneak out? And when you have stretch marks, wearing two-piece swim suit or beach clothes is a big no no for us, ayt?

 

Good thing, there are now proven methods in removing such marks. The success of any method you choose depends on your skin tone, age and diet. The most popular methods used nowadays to get rid of the stretch marks in women's tummy, breasts, hips and lower back are surgical methods, and creams and lotions. Though expensive, surgical treatments like laser surgery, dermabrasion, and chemical peels are effective in addressing those unsightly marks that we hate to see in our body. Doctors can also recommend lotions and creams that can help prevent or eliminate stretch marks.

 

Are you pregnant? You wouldn't want to have stretch marks don't ya? So better watch your diet. Ya, you read it right! Your diet can help prevent development of stretch marks. If you drink plenty of water and you eat foods that promote skin health, your skin will become soft and less likely to have stretch marks. Those rich in zinc like fish and nuts, vitamins A-and C-rich foods such as milk, carrots and citrus foods, and protein-rich foods make your skin healthy. So there. You now know what to eat when you want to keep your tummy and breasts away from those ugly scarring.  

People do many things to keep the memories of their loved ones. Some people are more  creative and go a step further than doing a photo ablum, they do scrapbooking, stickers, magnets, wall displays and printed memory books.

 

There are also the generic memory books you can buy in the store that have different characters like Winnie The Pooh, that have "baby's first steps" "baby' handprints" baby's statistics, and follows through for the first year of life.  Don't forget the 3d clay hand and foot imprints you can get with  a matching photo frame, or the ink version which is slightly cheaper. I recently came across  a site called " My Publisher" online that has downloadable software that lets you customize and create your own picture book. It's better than a reguar photo book, easier to make than a scrapbook, and depending what what format, page number and quality of book you have the prices are very reasable. The nice thing is, you can get unlimited copies too to send to the family, which makes great gifts :)

 

Whichever way you go, there are many way's to save some very precious memories. Christmas is just around the corner, and trinkets like this would also make a cute something to add into that memory box you plan on giving your child later in life. If your interested in having a look go to mypublisher.com, or blurb.com and take a look!

 

Does anyone else love watching their tummies? From one day to the next right now it seems to get bigger and change. It's truly an exciting time for me. I remember the first time I heard my babies heartbeat at a check up. Hearing the 'dom dom dom dom dom' sound made everything so much more real for me! Everytime I go for a check up, hearing my baby's heartbeat is also rather reassuring.

 

Just to think that there is a life inside you, growing and maturing, a little human who is alive and real is just mindblowing to me. 

 

To every Mother and expectant Mother out there, I salute you! There is no greater achievement than your children.

 

One of the important things parents need to do before having a baby is choose the perfect pediatrician.  That is, they should choose the pediatrician that is right for them and for their child.  The definition of the "perfect" pediatrician is different for everyone. 

 

Having come from a military background (my husband was in the Air Force) I became quite used to taking whatever pediatrician the base had on hand.  I didn't ask questions, and I didn't get to choose.  But I ended up having some fairly wonderful doctors anyway.  The bottom line I learned from this experience was that all doctors go through med school and most of them are quite competent and trustworthy.  But it does pay to do a little work when choosing the doctor for your baby.  After all, you will spend a lot of time with him/her and you will need to form a relationship of trust and openness to better serve your child.

Here are a few things to consider:

 

 

1. Make sure you like your doctor, and that your child likes her doctor.  You can't form a very good relationship with a person you can't stand or who rubs you the wrong way.  And if your child doesn't trust his doctor, you can be in for some very uncomfortable and unproductive visits.
2. Find a doctor's office that offers 24/7 care.  Trust me, you will value this beyond gold.  Bad things seem to always happen on Fridays after 5.  What a relief to know that you can see a doctor on Sunday morning, if needed, or reach your doctor at 3 in the morning.
3. Visit the office and look for a separate room or area for sick kids and well kids.  You don't want your baby exposed to sick germs when you take her in for her 2 month checkup.
4. Make sure your doctor's philosophy regarding medicine and treatment matches your own.  I love my pediatrician because he doesn't jump to medications right off the bat, and only seems to prescribe antibiotics when they are truly needed.  I don't like to take medicine unless absolutely necessary and I don't want my kids taking it unnecessarily either.  So I'm glad I have a doctor with that same sentiment.

 

Wife to a sometimes charming, sometimes frustrating man.  Mother to the most amazing, beautiful, pain in the whoo-ha, 13 month little girl.  Nanny to a daredevil 18th month boy and stubborn four year old boy.  Aspiring writer of children's books.  The maid, the cook and the poopy diaper changer.  I love it. 

After having my daughter, the decision of whether to stay home with her or return to work was difficult.  But ultimately my need to be with her won over.  Don't worry, I was a retail store manager.  I wasn't saving the world one overpriced blouse at a time.  On a side note, let me say a thing or two about the avilability and quality of daycare in this town.  One would think in a 24 hour town like Vegas, there would be care available to those who don't have the typical 9 to 5.  Which, if you work in the hospitality industry, is hard to come by.  I won't let myself get started on the conditions in those "in home" daycares.  I'm sure there's some that are perfectly safe and and do take great care of the children, just not the ones I checked out.  I thought, I can take better care of kids than these people.  So that's what I did.  I took some random babysitting jobs to make a lttle extra money and after a few months I found the wonderful family I now work for.  It turned out, deciding not to return to my previous job was the best decision I could have ever made.

I love my daughter more than anything, though I don't claim to be a "perfect" mother.  Yes, my daughter still uses a binky and I sometimes let her sleep in the bed with us.  But what can I say?  No matter how hard we try, we don't always get it right.  Especially the first time around.  She's happy and healthy and that's what is most important to me.  We get to spend all of our time together and she has a great little friend to grow up with.  And when the babies are napping, I have time to myself to work on my writing.  Which has become my new passion.

My blogs will probably be pretty random because that's how I think.  Thoughts just jump into my head even if they have nothing to do with what's going on around me.  Hopefully they'll be enjoyable, maybe even funny.  They will just be about the everyday life of this wife, mother, nanny, writer, maid, cook, and poopy diaper changer.   

Danielle

(And Isabel, who is sitting very patiently in my lap as I write this)

 

I terribly miss my smart little kiddo that I almost cried a while ago when my friend Dex said I still have two weeks more to go before I'll get the chance to see my son. I don't want to think of it that way, I want it the other way around instead - I ONLY have two weeks to go and I can be with my baby once again!

 

It is real hard for us mothers to be far from our child. You'll just find yourself guessing what he's/she's doing from time to time. In my case, I always find myself worrying about his condition. Though I know his nanny takes good care of him, I just can't help but worry a lot.

 

Like what most people say, Moms know what's best for their child. Everytime he cries, his mom has a way of finding out the cause of his crying and know how to put a stop to it. And I truly regret that right now, I'm not the one doing this for him. I want to be with him when he cries. I want to take away all the pain he's feeling especially now that he's on teething stage. But I really am helpless right now. All I can do is to look forward to the day when we'll be seeing each other again.

 

I have no scientific evidence for this phenomenon, but I swear it exists.  The moment a mother retreats to the bathroom for a second of peace and privacy, the bathroom alarm is tripped and a dedicated response team arrives.  Even when you think your children are occupied.  They haven't needed you for at least ten minutes.  Surely they won't notice you are gone for a couple more.  Wrong.  The second bottom hits seat, the response team comes running.  

"Mom?  Mo-om?  Moooom!!!!!"

 

You crack the door just a hair.  "What?!"

 

"Oh, I just wondered where you were."  Or the response if even more trivial.  "What do we have for breakfast?"  "Are these socks the same?"  "Is my hair brown or blonde?"

 

Rest assured that one day you will have an unbroken moment's peace in the bathroom, but that day will probably not come until your kids have graduated from high school and moved out.  Until then, just remember that you are truly loved and missed whenever you are gone, even if you are only gone for one second. 

 

In preparation for my travels I called up my chosen airline to ask their policy concerning pregnancy and flying to make sure that all will be well with my flight.

 

Like most airlines, they let me know that it is perfectly fine for women to fly with them up to their 36th week of pregnancy, it can even be stretched to the 38th week for some unique cases. However, as I am now 26 weeks in and on the brink of my third trimester, they asked for me to obtain a letter from my doctor that states that I am in good health and able (with no cause or concern) to fly. So I'm off to get that on Tuesday morning in preparation for my flight on Friday.

 

Here's some advice about flying when pregnant:

 

Never be afraid to ask - Airlines will try and do whatever it takes to accomodate you. Usually pregnant women will be offered the seats with more room to stretch their legs if it isn't an insanely busy flight. If you want to, call ahead and ask to be seated in the most accomodating seat. They will be happy to oblige.

 

Notify the airline of your pregnancy prior to departure - Then the cabin crew will be aware of your condition, which can help with peace of mind.

 

Stretch your legs - There is a higher risk of Deep Vein Thrombosis during long-haul flights which is due to changes in pressure. Pregnant women are advised to stretch their legs at the very least every other hour during flight. Get up, walk around, wiggle your toes. This is also an effective way of hopefully avoiding uncomfortable feet swelling.

 

Drink plenty of water - Keep hydrated during flights. High altitudes and stuffy airplane cabins increases the need for liquids, especially water. While pregnant and flying, I recommend keeping your own bottle of water in your hand luggage.

 

The ideal time to fly is the second trimester, no more morning sickness and you're not worrying close to your due date. In this age of travel and families being spread across the globe, flying may be the only way to see your family before you give birth (this is my situation).

 

Don't worry too much - just be responsible, prepared, take it easy and enjoy the flight!   

 

New born children have a natural affinity towards the water.

We spend nine months ahead of us born into a liquid environment.

Perhaps this familiarity with the environment gives them a new sensation of being in water at home.

The ability to be in the water without fear persists for a few months of life.

Swimming is classified as one of reflexes primitive.

A new-born dipping in water will automatically move arms and will avoid breathe in water.

The swimming reflex will disappear gradually in the first year of life.

The effects of aquatic activity: The babies who have attended these courses have proved to be more active, healthy.

The pool water should be warm with a temperature of 30-32 degrees.

Multiple Children are not a Collective

Having one child is enough to take up a lot of any parent’s time and energy. Having two, three or more children can get down right difficult. There is one very important thing to remember when raising multiple children they are not a collective.

What does that mean? Too often parents neglect to make individual time for children. It is not on purpose but because it is a big family. It gets difficult to remember that each child is an individual and needs that one-on-on individual time with parents. Take a day and spend time doing things with your child that they like to do. Spread it out on different days where that is there ‘special’ day with mom or their day with dad. This lets them know that even though they are one big happy family, they are also individuals with their own special needs and talents. Your children will love you for it. 

 

Normally we see two types of eating problems with kids. Under eating and overeating. A reduction in appetite is not a very good symptom amongst pre-teen agers. This kind of loss in appetite is usually seen among children who are one year or so. In either case, it is not right to force feed the child. Doctors always advice the parents to wait until the child feels hungry. If you compel or push your child into eating, the child may react and throw up. Sometimes children will keep food in their mouth and refuse to gulp it. Therefore in such dicey situations, keep your calm and attempt to dilute the anxiety.

With older children, you have to slightly more tactful. Invite them to join you for dinner, and serve some food to them too. Chances are they will pounce upon it, when they will see every one else chewing the food merrily.   

 

Sibling rivalry can make you stand at your wits ends. There are many ways of dealing with it. I have discussed a few approaches earlier. Some more.

When your children start fighting pay no attention to them or take them apart. You can make them sit in different places. Now you can attend to their fundamental problems. Solution lies within the kids mind. All you have to do is facilitate that emotion and bring it out. You can block them from meeting each other until each sibling gives consent to the other. Normally kids cannot stay longer without their brother or sister. Let them discuss their problems once they are out of their cocoons. Their memories are very small, and they forgive fast unlike the adults. As soon as they patch up, behave normally and engage them in a different occupation. Try to get humor in the air. This will give boost to their sentiments and lighten the moods.   

 

What You Eat May Determine Your Baby’s Sex? According to a new British study, what you eat (and how much you eat) may determine whether you have a baby boy or a baby girl. The study shows that women who eat less, and especially those who skip breakfast, are more likely to have baby girls, while women who get all the vitamins and nutrients they need at breakfast and continue to eat high calorie, quality foods throughout the day are more likely to have a boy. The same trend is seen in animals. When there is a shortage of food, animals are more likely to have female offspring. Scientists believe this is nature’s way of dealing with shortage, by making sure reproduction is slowed for awhile by halting the growth of the male population. When women don’t eat in the morning, the body continues the fast it was on at night, alerting the body that conditions might not be good. Scientists believe the body then translates this into production of a girl instead of a boy. Some scientists said this study is ridiculous, claiming only the father’s sperm determines whether it is a girl or boy. But statistics show that a woman is more than 25 percent more likely to have a boy if she eats healthy, big meals often.

Source:www.injury.com

Life is a funny thing, family is a funny thing, but if anything can stop both in their tracks and bring everyone together it's the birth of a new baby.

 

My younger sister welcomed her third child into the world this morning. A gorgeous little boy who arrived 3 weeks early.

 

My sister is 22, 6 years younger than me. She has a 3 year old, 11 month old and now a new born, it's an understatement to say her hands will be very full!

 

The sad part is that I rarely see my sister, our children rarely see each other. Let's just say she lives a much different lifestyle to me, her partner is somewhat questionable and so our lives don't really cross paths too often. It really is sad I guess, although because of the 6 year age difference and the fact I left home at 15 i don't really have a "gap" in my life because of our lack of closeness.

 

Despite all the differences, she called this morning to tell me the news, and I got to do the big sister thing today. This afternoon I packed the kids in the car and drove the 40 minute trip to see her at the hospital. It was nice to walk in there, and the kids were really excited about meeting their new cousin. She is undecided on a middle name so we tossed around a few ideas, and I got a nice cuddle of the gorgeous little man (while Mr B looked on with a frown at the fact someone else was touching his mummy!)

 

Birth is such an amazing thing, and it's even more beautiful that it can bring people and families together in an instant. Children love babies and the glow as my kids enjoyed the sight of their new cousin warmed my heart. That and realising that my little sister still needs to reach out to her big sister every now and then, and if felt good to be able to be there for her.

When i was Pregnant i am more concious about my posture because im not the only one affected but my baby also. I really do not know about good posture for pregnant so i ask women who got pregnant and my doctor. They have the same believe that if you have good posture you can avoid Back Injuries. I have learn the following techiniques:

When Sitting Down

You should sit straight on a chair and if possible have pillow to support your back.

When Picking up things

The best way is to squat down and use legs to support the back.

When getting up

You should roll on the side and push yourself up to support your back.

I have noticed that you need to support your back everytime you make a move or else you will look like hunchback.

I'm 40 and about to have my first child I would love to have a girl but my husband wants a boy. I'm currently 8 weeks and counting

Overparenting can ruin a child's life.   We all do it to varying degrees.   It's when it gets out of control that it becomes dangerous.

Let's look at two scenarios...

Little Timmy is not holding your hand on a busy street.   The traffic is awful and because you are a parent who loves their child your stress levels are high.   Timmy lets go of your hand for the third time and you lose your temper too.   After bawling at him you give him a big hug because he starts crying, wondering why his Mom has suddenly turned into Hannibal Lecter.

Little Timmy again.   This time he's going to a party and you've drawn up a list of fifteen rules for him to take along, with the threat of no TV, ever, if he breaks just one.

Which one is overparenting?   Easy, the second one.   Why?  

See the next post, for a little Overparenting 101...

 

 

We all know that meditating sounds good on paper, but in the real world it isn't that practical.   Here are two ways to gain instant relaxation.  

Drop your shoulders.   No, really, drop them.   The first things massage therapists go for are your shoulders, and there is a reason for this.   Not to go into too much detail, but your shoulders knot up when your body is going into stress overdrive.   Drop them and you will feel the benefits.

Another technique is good old sleep.   I don't care what the house looks like, find thirty minutes in the day to take a nap.   Even if it is on the couch.   If you can't sleep because your children are awake, stick a DVD on and zone out with them.   They will understand if your eyes drift...

Use these two ways to gain instant realaxation.    Starting now.   Ready?  

Drop those shoulders...  

   

When you come to know that you are pregnant the first thing that you should have in mind is to take proper medication. Your doctor will prescribe you a few medicines like iron tablets, calcium tablets and folic acid tablets. Most of the time we forget to take our medication but do we know the repercussions? Let me tell you briefly the importance of these medicines.

·   Red blood cells (or RBCs) contain iron. Iron helps in oxidation of the RBCs. It helps in good functioning of RBCs. If you take iron tablets, your baby will get quality food from you.

·   Calcium is the main ingredient of bone formation. It not only helps you and your baby while you are pregnant, it goes a long way much after your babies have grown up.

·   Folic acid is most important. During the first 3 months of pregnancy, the baby absorbs all the folic acid from your body. After that unless you take supplements, the folic acid requirement of your body is not fulfilled.  

I have more than a picky eater.  My youngest child, after the age of 6 months (right when he started solids), preferred not to eat at all.  But when he did choose to nibble on a little something, that little something was almost always the fruit and vegetable variety. 

 

So what's wrong with that?  Sounds healthy.  And in this weight obsessed society he would most likely get a loud applause for his efforts at choosing well, right?

 

Wrong.

 

Infants need fat.  They should devour it, like we adults should guzzle water.  Those precious little rolls and dimples (on our babies, that is) have an important purpose.  And the trouble with my son's vegetarian palate was that he completely fell off the growth chart in both weight and height.  Since then he has struggled to maintain his place on the bottom rung at 5 percent.

 

I was thrilled when he finally started eating meat, and I bragged to the pediatrician about it.  He was not impressed, and reminded me that there are high-protein diets out there where people actually lose weight by eating meat.

 

Oh.

 

I worried constantly that he would never grow, and even worse, that his brain development would be compromised because of his low fat intake.  He was breastfed, but apparently he still didn't get enough.

 

Despite my worries and frustrations, however, he is now a very healthy, albeit small, 4 year old.  And he is quite smart, too.  So while it is in our best interest to worry about our children's diet and growth, the fact is that all babies are different.  Some are "poor" eaters, and some are "good" eaters.  Some are big and some are small. But we shouldn't measure our children with everyone else's.

 

I am about 4 weeks along. MS started a week ago. Some days are better than others. This morning isn't good at all. I can't find anything I want to eat or can keep down. Currently nibbling on Nilla Wafers. Lemon tea has been a very good friend of mine. Sometimes getting some fresh air helps a bit or running cold water over my hands and wrists. Right now I feel as if I will never feel better again. I want to cry (been a little weepy lately). If anyone has suggestions, I would love to hear them.