When I was a kid, I noticed that when I did something good, like earning the 1st honor in class or winning a contest, my mom and dad would buy me something as reward. But when I did bad, like not being in the top three in class or ending 2nd place in a contest, they would tell me that I should have done better and would spank me for not doing good.

Yes, I grew up in this kind of setting, feeling loved only when I did something to please them, but rejected when I did not meet their expectations. I always tell myself back then, "how come my best was never good enough for them?" So, I ended up having a very miserable childhood, which even continued until my teenage years. It was a struggle and I even remembered thinking about committing suicide as young as 10 years old just to end my misery. But I wasn't that weak, I managed to survive. And I promised myself that once I become a parent, I'll never ever be like my mom nor my dad.

But as they say, promises are made to be broken. Just this morning, I found myself shouting at my 1 year old daughter just because she didn't want to eat her morning meal. She was crying hard, but I didn't mind. I even heard myself saying, "If you don't eat, Mommy doesn't love you anymore!" I wasn't thinking right, I know. I sounded like my parents. But I was too blinded by the thought that the only way to make her obey is to show her that I am tough. Which I realized later on that I was so wrong.

When I came in the office earlier, I was so bothered by what I did to my little girl. I was distracted, so instead of doing work, I just browsed the Internet and came across this article about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, being the first foundation stone of proactive parenting. While reading it, I was really teary-eyed. It hit me hard. All this time I thought I'm doing well as a mom, but I'm not. I asked myself, was it conditional or unconditional love that I'm giving my children? Oh, why did I even bother asking?

In my seven years of being a parent, I hardly know what unconditional love is. Or perhaps I know, yet I tend to ignore its significance in my children's development. Unconditional love is all about loving my children, whether they do good or bad, they look good or not, they are talented or less-skilled, and whether their beginnings were good or not.

I have three children, of three different dads. Their beginnings were all hard to accept, their fathers added to my misery. But I love my three children; that's why I chose to bring them into this world in spite of the many trials that I went through. I thought that reason was enough for them to know that I love them. But it's not. Unconditional love goes beyond conceiving and giving birth. It should be the first foundation to become a good parent.

But, I must admit that becoming a good parent is a struggle for me. With my 8-hour job from Tuesday to Saturday taking its toll on me, I expect my children when I come home at the end of the day to behave in a manner I want them to be. When they meet my expectation, I'm pleased and I let them feel loved, but when they don't, I use punishment to point out to them that they are misbehaving and that I don't like it. The article I read just a while ago let me come to a big realization - I'M LOVING MY CHILDREN CONDITIONALLY! And that made me cry.

My children are my life. And whether you believe me or not, I'm trying to be the best mom that I could be. But after realizing this huge mistake of loving them conditionally, I must say that I still have a lot to work on. And perhaps, the first step is to leave the shadows of the past behind - of the bitterness, resentment, and anger which evolved from my unhappy childhood. I'm a parent now, not anymore a kid. So I should know better.

From now on, I'll keep what Ross Campbell said in the article, Unconditional Love: The First Foundation Stone of Proactive Parenting:

They are children.
They will tend to act like children.
Much childish behavior is unpleasant.
If I do my part as a parent and love them, despite their childish behavior, they will be able to mature and give up their childish ways.
If I love them only when they please me (conditional love) and convey my love to them only during those times, they will not feel genuinely loved. This, in turn, will make them feel insecure, damage their self-esteem, and actually prevent them from moving on to better self-control and mature behavior. Therefore, their behavior and its development is my responsibility as much as theirs.
If I love them unconditionally, they will feel good about themselves and be comfortable with themselves. They will then be able to control their anxiety and, in turn, their behavior, as they grow into adulthood.
If I love them when they meet my requirements or expectations, they will feel incompetent. They will believe that it is fruitless to do their best because it is never enough. Insecurity and anxiety will plague them and be constant hindrances to their emotional and behavioral growth.

It may be difficult to strive for unconditional love, since only God can truly give that. But, for my sake and my children's sake, I'll continue to pray that God give me the strength and guidance to be the best parent who can give unconditional love to my children.

Hi everyone! It's quite a while since I last updated my blog. I've been a little busy these past few days preparing for my baby's 1st birthday party. She's turning one on the 4th of November, and so I have so little time now left to get all things set. I'm getting excited, really! Just thinking about how the party will go makes me wish that it's November 4th already. But well, it's still a week away, so I'd better keep my excitement to myself first and share to you instead how I'm preparing for Baby Gaby's 1st birthday.

Okay, let me start with the birthday theme. During the past months, I kept on thinking about having a "Tinkerbell" theme. Although there's nothing significant with tinkerbell as far as my baby is concerned, I just thought that it would be a nice theme for her party. And so when I told my cousin, who's organizing the party for me, he said he'll talk to the people in charge of the venue and ask if such theme is available. It is! But then, when they sent me a picture of the tinkerbell set-up, I looked at other options because I didn't like it that much. I then decided to go for a fairy princess theme, which is far better than the tinkerbell one.

Next, let's look down at the birthday invitation. Imagine, I just had one done yesterday and will start giving them by monday. For those whom I can't visit personally, I'll just mail it to them. The party invitation was actually very simple. It was my close friend and former colleague, Mina, who designed it. Here, let me share the picture to you:

Now, let's go to my baby's party dress. Since I chose a fairy princess theme, of course I'll have one done for her on which she's indeed like a fairy princess. I'm thinking about a pink dress, with a pink wing, and a pink headpiece. I bet my little girl will look gorgeous in it. I just hope she'll be comfortable wearing one, but if not, I'll have another one ready. I'll just share a pic of it once it's done.

Okay, next, the birthday games. I don't have an exact clue what games will be played during her party. The party organizer included a clown in the package and according to her, the clown will be the one to organize the games and the program as a whole. Well. I'll just leave it to them, I'm confident anyway that the games will sure be fun.

So, what else am I forgetting? Oh yes, the foods and souvenirs. Basically, the party package already included two sets of menu, one for the kids, and the other for the adults. For kids well, the usual spaghetti and chicken, and for the adults, roast beef, salad, a little seafood, and others. As for the souvenirs, I bought 5 dozens of little baby milk bottle. They were pink, green, and yellow in colors. Me and my colleagues will meet on Monday to design it and make it look more attractive.

So there. Whew! This is really one huge party comin' up. I just hope everything will turn out fine.

To conceive or not to conceive? That is the question which has been bugging me ever since I've learned that my husband is coming home on Oct 31st for our baby's 1st birthday. I admit, I'm a little excited, but worried at the same time. Why? Because after 1 year and 8 months that we're not together, I really want to see what has changed in him and know whether we have grown closer or further over the year. Plus, the idea of course that I might get pregnant again once he comes home really bothers me.

During our last chat, I could really sense that he wants me to conceive again. A baby boy this time. But I told him I'm not yet ready. Although I'm excited to have a baby boy as well, being pregnant is way too far from my plans right now. I couldn't imagine myself with that bulging tummy again, 9 months of waiting, and of course restricting myself from the usual stuff that I drink, eat, and do.

Oh well, how I wish husbands can share the conception stage with us wives. Silly me! LOLs! That of course is very impossible. But anyway, I'll stick with my plan of not conceiving, although at the back of my mind something's telling me to push through with it. Advice pls, anyone?

I know, this post is kinda late. But I just want to tell everyone here that my baby just turned 11 months old last October 4th. As usual, I gave her a small celebration, with cake and carbonara to eat on the sides. My officemates arrived to celebrate with baby and me. They were all so happy to see Baby Gaby looking more cute and bigger as she turned 11 months old. And the little girl had fun entertaining her visitors as well. I actually took a video of her dancing while me and my friends clapping and laughing because really she looked so cute.

Oh how fast time flies. One more month to go and it's the 1st Birthday Celebration of Baby Gaby already. I'm already excited as early as now. Actually in a few days, I'm off to our hometown because I plan to give her the grand party there. I need to make the arrangements with the party organizer regarding the menu and all the other stuffs needed for the birthday.

Whew, giving baby a huge celebration for her 1st birthday will cost me a lot. But I don't really mind about it that much. I want the best for my baby, and so I'm looking forward to this party. After all, this is really a huge celebration to make considering all those trials I went through when I conceived her and gave birth to her almost a year ago.

So there. I'm counting the days now before November 4 arrives. But before I count any further, let me share to you some of the pics that I took during her 11th month birthday.

When I first learned about the China Milk Scare news on the television, I immediately checked the label of the milk formula that Baby Gaby takes. Good thing, it was manufactured in Ireland. But I could not help but pity those Chinese babies, and also their mothers. If that happened to my baby, I'm sure I'll be so outraged myself.

I kept thinking, how could the person/persons responsible for mixing Melamine in the milk formula go on with their lives after they have put a baby to death and some are even struggling to fight for their lives due to kidney problems? Don't they have any conscience? Don't they have mothers? I really felt sad about what happened to those babies because they were so helpless. Imagine, their lives depend mainly on milk formula, and yet the supposedly formula that they need to live will be the cause of their death or sickness! This is really such a ruthless act for those person/s responsible for including that Melamine in the milk formula.

I could not explain the rage that I feel for those who failed to look at those infant formula carefully. How can they let those formula pass, without knowing that those contain Melamine? I'm sure some know, but are just heartless to even care about those babies who will be endangered. This is so sad, really! And I can almost feel the pain of those parents who have lost their baby and for those whose babies are still struggling to live.

Yup, this was a busy week for the working Mommy. Consolidating articles, monitoring projects, doing freelance work, arrrghhh all I need is a break, a long break from work! I just want to spend 24 hours a day with my baby, without worrying about work or deadline. I was thinking about going out of town with her and the nanny. But then, fare is kinda high, so I guess a weekend getaway can come in later.

Anyhow, tomorrow is the start of the weekend, so I'd better settle on spending quality time with my baby either at home or in the nearby mall. I know, she needs some fresh air, after being stucked in the house five days a week. And besides, I kinda feel the stress that the nanny gets from taking care of her most of the time. So, tomorrow will not only be bonding time for Mommy and baby, but also a few hours off for the nanny.

Whew, this was really a busy week! I can hardly wait to leave the office at 5. I just wanna cuddle my little girl, and relieve myself from stress.

Buying a baby stroller is one of the most significant purchases that parents should consider even before baby is born. But since there are lots of baby stroller options nowadays, choosing the right stroller for your baby could be a daunting task. That's why before you make any purchase, you have to keep these three important factors in mind: design, function, and cost.

Strollers, nowadays, come in a wide variety of designs. Some have 3-wheel design, others with 4 and bulkier look, and a few which looks simply like an umbrella. But there are also strollers which have more stylish and unique look, on which when you happen to push one, people will sure take a second glance because of admiration. So from these designs, you can at least have a few options and then single out those which don't pass your taste.

Okay next is function. Yup, this is also very important because a stroller may suit your taste when it comes to design but then, it may not meet your requirements when it comes to function. So first you have to think where or when you will mostly use your stroller. Do you intend to use it as early as the newborn stage of baby? Or do you plan of using it once it already starts to sit up? Or why not both? And do you often travel in the city or at the countryside? Or how about having a toddler and a baby at the same time? All these questions are important for you to know the specific function of stroller that you'll need. Take note: some strollers may not be suitable for you and your baby's needs.

And lastly, you should of course consider the cost. Just like any other baby gears, strollers also vary in price. Some strollers may be just right for your budget while a few may come at a rather hefty price. So first, you should decide on how much you can afford for a stroller. If you think you can go for a costly one but includes all the features that you're looking for, then no need to hesitate. But if you think it's too much to pay for a stroller that doesn't meet all your requirements, well better check for other options.

So there. I hope these things can help you when the time comes that you'll need to buy a baby stroller for your little one.

The whole day, I kept telling everyone here inside the office that I so want to eat pizza, as in lots and lots of pizza. I don't know why it suddenly occurred to me that I wanted to it pizza so badly. All I know is that, I will not let this day pass without eating a slice of it. Yumyum. I could already smell it in my imagination. My mouth is already watering from the thought that I'm going to munch at those bellpepper and pepperoni. Huhuhu. I can't wait to get out of the office and have one box delivered at my place.

But hey, I was wondering why people always associate cravings with pregnancy? You know, when I told some of my officemates about me wanting to eat pizza so bad, they immediately asked if I was pregnant. Oh come on! I know they're just joking because me getting pregnant at this time is way too impossible. Why? Because my husband is overseas, miles and miles away from me, so there's no way we can make physical contact. I'm not pregnant, I just want to eat pizza - that's all!

Whew, I wonder if there are other moms out here who experienced the same thing. Have you ever heard someone asking if you're pregnant just because you craved for some food?

For almost two weeks now, I noticed that before my baby sleeps at night, she'd first go through a crying session even if her nanny is already carrying her. At first, I can still tolerate it. But after today, my patience has gone overboard and really I lost my temper. I could not even control shouting at her anymore because she didn't want to stop crying.

Aaaarrgghhh!!! I don't know what to do with her anymore. I just don't like it that she's acting like this before going to sleep. I'm already very tired at work, and so the last thing that I need is another stress due to her non-stop crying before sleeping. Help, can you please give me an advice on this? My 2 elder daughters were not like this when they were months old so I'm kindda having a hard time figuring out what to do with my youngest. I know, it's not right to lose my temper and end up shaking her just to make her stop. But I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm beginning to feel so frustrated with this really. Please help!

While brushing my teeth this morning, I noticed my gums bleeding. Although I'm kind of used to seeing this from time to time, still I couldn't help but worry about my gums' condition. I'm actually using a special toothpaste now, the one prescribed by my dentist. I just don't know why this still happens. All I can remember is that my bleeding gums can be traced way back when I was pregnant.

Bleeding gums is a common complaint during pregnancy. I could even remember asking my OB-gyne during that time why it occurs. According to her, pregnancy gingivitis occurs because of the higher progesterone levels which make the gums react more to the bacteria in plaque. It can also be caused by the increased blood supply to the pregnant woman's mouth.

Although bleeding gums during pregnancy is painless, still it can bring negative effects. You see, gingivitis when neglected can lead to a more serious form of gum disease which is known as periodontitis. And according to studies, any pregnant woman with this condition will likely deliver prematurely.

I'm sure all conceiving women out here would not want to deliver their babies prematurely. So, I've listed here some things that you can do to manage swollen and bleeding gums during pregnancy:

1. You should have at least one dental appointment during the entire course of your pregnancy.

2. When rinsing, instead of using water alone, make sure you use salt with it, at least 1 teaspoon for every cup.

3. Brush your teeth 2 times a day, especially after you vomit due to morning sickness.

4. Have a good nutrition.

Keeping these things in mind can really help you manage bleeding gums when you're pregnant. Now, if you still experience this even after giving birth, like what I'm experiencing, then you should contact your dentist at once.